An Open Letter to Delhi’s Pretentious Chief Minister

An open letter to Arvind Kejriwal asks if he’s trying to pull the wool over our eyes by stoking controversies.

He’s more in the news for locking horns with the Centre and the LG than for the work done by AAP government in Delhi. (Photo: PTI)

Dear Arvind Kejriwal ji,

Well done. You’re really hitting the sweet spot these days. After all that hard work and the massive mandate given to you by Delhi’s naive people who put their trust in you to usher in ‘ram rajya’, you have finally been able to do what you do best.

Fight. Like an angry bahu from one of the 9 pm primetime shows.

I guess it is always a good idea to play to your strengths, but maybe you are taking it too far by focusing mainly on creating conflict. Although I can understand your plight. If you put your head down and focus on improving the condition of the people of Delhi, which self-respecting news channel would give you airtime? Who would care about a gradual improvement in education standards, teachers actually teaching in classes or hospitals working efficiently? Good governance takes time.

While the murder of a young woman at the hands of a stalker is a sad event, it came along at a good time for you. Try to not milk it too much though.

Aam Aadmi and Work

I must thank you though for your accurate portrayal of the Indian aam aadmi. Like you, even the rest of us hate working. We’d rather spend our days posting selfies on Facebook, instead of doing the work assigned by our manager. Talking of managers, it would be so cool if, rather than writing an email to our managers, we just create a giant banner and put it outside the office. If only we all had the courage to wash our dirty linen in public.

And look at the ever-eager-to-outrage people crib about you addressing a cop as a thulla. Of course, everybody does it, why can’t you? On that topic – everybody also pees on the road.

You, honorable Chief Minister of Delhi, are not ‘everybody’.

(Photo: PTI)

Blame it on the PM

Yes it is in your best interests to pretend that you are unable to do anything because of the prime minister who is obviously spending his days constantly telling Delhi Police to not do their job properly in order to sabotage your government. Clearly the prime minister needs to start managing placement of PCR vans, train the thullas and help you do your job. Very irresponsible of him to not pay attention.

But there are some things you’ve done well. You got your competition shunted out of the party. Yogendra Yadav is gone. Prashant Bhushan is gone. You sound more confident on radio. You’ve even started appearing on TV. Who knows you may be on Bigg Boss one day, if not Parliament. Both are similar anyway.

Your party is you and you are your party. AAP sahi ja rahe ho, sir ji. (AAP puns are irresistible)

A Good Politician

But come now, let’s stop the aam aadmi, honest-unto-eternity charade. You’re a politician. Period. And a pretty damn good one. In a country of a billion people, the CM of a small semi-state is all over the news. The PM is so scared of you that he is not letting you do your work. You must feel like the Anil Kapoor of Nayak.

Except there’s a minor difference. He was in a movie. You are not.

Delhi Police has forever been under central control. Stop this meaningless battle to wrest control. Like you reminded Sheila Dikshit a few years ago on Twitter, don’t be a helpless CM who makes excuses for his lapses.

The constitutional nature of Delhi didn’t change after you became CM. It has always been run the way it does, by the Congress before you and BJP before then. The LG is the constitutionally appointed authority with whom you need to work on policy matters. For days when you actually feel like getting out of the radio station and doing some work.

Stop playing victim.

Delhi’s Welfare?

The Rs 500 crore you have spent on ads might have better been spent working for the welfare of Delhi’s people. The beggar who came up to you and gave you Rs 10 after you asked for donations to fight the elections might not feel so cheated if you had not spent his hard-earned money furthering your political ambition.

In India, we are used to politicians making a fool out of us. The problem with you proving to be just another politician is that we actually thought you were different.

Break our hearts and we may never be able to trust anyone again, like the trusting village belle from an Eighties’ movie whom the rich city-boy befriends, impregnates and leaves with promises to marry her, never to return.

I suppose Delhi was never your target, but a mere stepping-stone. You have full right to aim high and try to use Delhi to become PM one day, but never forget that the people of India are watching. Also the higher you aim, the harder you fall.

Say thanks to your naseeb that got you to this high position, stop this jung, and show Delhi that it didn’t make a mistake by voting for you.

(Atulya Mahajan is the author of two novels, his latest being a political satire called Democrazy)