BREAKING! There’s Life Beyond Kaala, Here Are Your Weekend Options

Maybe you’re not feeling the buzz, maybe you’re not into Rajinikanth (gasp!). Worry not, there’s life beyond Kaala.

Really. There is.

(Photo Courtesy: Wunderbar Studios / YouTube)

A friend, let’s call him Arun, from Bengaluru canceled his plans to drive to Chennai and watch FDFS Kaala. He said he was disillusioned by Rajinikanth’s double standards regarding the Tuticorin protests.

The trailer of the movie seems to hinge on Rajinikanth calling the people out to protest and revolt. And here he is telling the media that if we protest for everything, Tamil Nadu will become a graveyard. What double standards, <i>macha</i>?

Arun

He’s not alone in his disillusionment. Plus, June is the month of school fees and FDFS offices and the accompanying headaches. Not really conducive for a hardcore politically loaded movie. And then there’s this inexplicable lack of buzz for Kaala. The difference between Kabali and Kaala is as obvious as a Boeing 747 spraypainted with Rajini’s face. Kabali had it. Kaala doesn’t.

So yeah, if you’re somehow not that into Kaala, here’s what you could do in Chennai, Bengaluru or Mumbai over the weekend instead. Movies, places, jukeboxes and more.

Jurassic World

As predictable and filmy in premise as Kaala, but minus the heavy-duty politics. There’s dinosaurs, genetically modified dinosaurs, and also a volcano. Screaming, running, random jokes in the middle of life-threatening situations. What’s not to like? It’s like Deadpool 2 with dinosaurs, minus the d!@k jokes.

In case you’re feeling like you can handle a ‘little’ bit of Kaala, the dinosaur screams are as irritating as the songs in Kaala. They’re also equally abstruse, so you won’t remember them anyway.

In Bengaluru, Like Talking Politics, Not Keen on Kaala?

There are over 5,000 ‘Darshinis’ across this little IT hub called Bengaluru. Head out to any of them for breakfast. Take a friend along without telling him what you have in mind. Buy him a meduvada, and buy yourself a masala dosa. Talk politics incessantly while munching on your dosa.

Scientifically speaking, it takes a fewer number of chews to down a dosa than a meduvada. So with the right chew:talk ratio, you can render your friend incapable of finishing his meduvada. Unless he’s poured Sambar over it, in which case it’s a free-for-all.

Depressed and on Duty? Doodle.

It looks complicated. But you can do it. Maybe Rajini Kanth, but you can.(Photo: The Quint)

Sometimes, one may not want to lease one’s mind for the price of a ticket or monthly subscription to someone else’s visual imagery. Sometimes, one’s boss may not allow one to do so.

In such troubling times, it pays to try art therapy, for focus and the meditative effect one often wishes for, which is only rarely attained perchance in the bathroom early in the morning.

Zentangles is an option worth considering. It’s all about doodling your way out of a shit-stream of consciousness and onto a meditative state.

Try it. Who knows, it might be better than a random visit to the coffee maker wherein you regularly wax your innards with the coating in the disposable cup.

Ko Ko: Essential Jukebox!

‘Kolamavu Kokila’ is a yet to release film directed by Nelson, who’s barely a film old. Two songs from the movie have been released so far, and the one I’ve linked above has clocked over 17 million views.

FYI, that’s a couple of million views more than any of Kaala’s songs.

The premise, the music, the lyrics, the visuals, everything feels perfect, and set to give you a warm-fuzzy feeling.

Kaala’s jukebox, while loaded with politically charged lyrics and a raw feel, are not memorable. They songs are like extensions of the OST of Kabali. Even the title track is devoid of the Rajini-goosebumps effect.

But if you’re not looking for political meaning, or even warm fuzziness in life, you should check out DJ Snake - Majenta Riddim

It is as random as life itself. And infinitely funny.

Kaala Vs...

The story leading up to the release is worth keeping an eye on!(Photo: Liju Joseph /The Quint)

It’s not the destination that’s important, but the journey.

While that quote is as mundane as the italics and as needless as the bold font, it has a point.

From the possibility of competing agains Anvengers: Infinity War, to an overt political / controversial tone, to competing against Jurassic World, to Rajinikanth’s sudden two-face dialogue about protests, to Karnataka refusing to screen the film; A LOT has transpired over the past few months.

Whether the movie gets your hopes up or not, the stories and events leading to the release are a cliffhanger. Also the opinion pieces that have dissected the songs and Rajinikanth’s behaviour on and off screen.

Check out the LIVE Blog on Kaala, and the Big Story ‘Kaala is Here’ for a one-stop compendium of all news/views on Kaala. Trust me, it’ll probably be more interesting than the movie itself!

KAALA IS HERE