Toodles 2018: What A Ghatiya Year For My Social (Media) Life

Here’s why 2018 made me want to throw my phone in the dustbin

(Photo : The Quint)

Ebola, chikungunya, dengue are now old contestants replaced by far more contagious diseases, found only on our phones. I’m more afraid of catching another new Viral wedding photo on my Instagram feed than the common cold.

It’s been an eventful year and even if the events didn’t ACTUALLY happen in your life it sure seemed like you were a part of them 24x7. Your phones were always buzzing with information you probably didn’t give a damn about. Starting with Karan Johar, the most omnipresent celebrity, he’s practically everywhere. He’s at the screens, on your tv, in print ads, viral on Instagram and now even on RADIO. His infamous “Toodles” video series has taken over Instgaram and I just don’t know why someone saying Toodles in a British/American accent (can’t really tell) is viral content? And although he might be saying toodles to us, I bet we all want to say Toodles to HIM and everything else that we’re so done with.

Toodles To Weddings: "'I Do'' not care

Your brain has registered the tiniest details that have absolutely no relevance to your life. Whether it was which venue was booked for the weddings of Bolly actors that got hitched this year, to the number of reception parties they threw. You even knew what they were wearing, how it was made, what songs the couple danced to, what the people attending these weddings and receptions wore and even how their shaadi ke cards looked like. Basically you were an incognito guest and you really didn’t sign up for that, now did you? Honestly I JUST CAN NOT look at one more wedding photo. So toodles to all these wedding photos that have taken over my feed and my LIFE.

To Taimur: Toodles, Beta

Shifting focus from the weddings of the year, lets move onto what happens post those weddings. BABIES. You know where this is heading right? Taimur ali khan. I can probably write a sound thesis paper on his childhood and most likely have no proper memory about my own. From how he waves, to how he smiles, to how he sleeps… and why do we NEED to know this? Toodles beta, go live your life and don’t mind us. We’re tired just like you.

Airport looks : Bon Voyage Aapko Bhi

Also saying toodles to “Airport looks”. They made us wonder if anyone actually ever looks like that when they walk into an airport at 4 am in the morning for an early morning flight. We don't need this shit in our life. Stop selling lies to us.

Toodles WhatsApp Family Group: Phir (Nahi) Milte Hain

I cant be the only one who wants to say Toodles to my whatsapp family group, right? Aren't we tired of the pressure of being on these family groups, where there is no conversation but an endless thread of good morning messages and educational forwards. Bhagwan photos ,jeera paani peeni ke faayde, sexist jokes like biwi is mad, husband is bechara, aren't we totally done with this bakwaas? This new year my resolution is to find the courage to leave my whatsapp family group even if that makes my family mad, at least that’s better than going mad myself. ARE YOU WITH ME? MISSION BOYCOTT FAMILY FORWARDS 2019?

And lastly Toodles to that goa plan that never was. and never will be. Umeed par duniya kayam hai, par goa plan success kayam hai on your parents, on the availability of your friends, on your boss’s mood that month and so much more.

As we jive into 2019, lets hope for a year free of viral siyappas and only happy hellos to love and positivity!