These Amazon, Flipkart Reviewers Really Hate Expensive Speakers

Expensive gadgets on e-commerce sites really bring out the Oscar Wilde in us.

Indians are notoriously tight-fisted when it comes to buying non-essentials. (Photo: Lijumol Joseph/The Quint)

Stereotype Alert!

Indians are notoriously tight-fisted when it comes to buying non-essentials.

It is a fact universally recognised that one of our favourite past times is comparing prices online, finding the best deals and chasing the fleeting golden moment of satisfaction that comes when you land upon a bargain.

Of course it passes all too soon, and you are back to feeling the cold grip of mortality again, but hey, at least you now have a baby-pink ceramic Fabindia table lamp for only 500 bucks!

To celebrate the spirit of our collective chindiness then, here are a few Indian reviewers who are really, *really* mad at expensive speakers.

The Offending Item

Price: Rs 1,17,000 (Photo: Flipkart)

(Photo: Flipkart)

[sic] I could hear sound of voyager from these speakers. Quite surprising is that when I played Muhamad rafi song, Rafi sir came out of speakers we have a small chat and once I turned off the speaker he disappeared. I would suggest manufacturers not to sell it so cheap, its a miracle of our time. 

Vijay S

E.T. Phone Home

Price: Rs 199,900. (Photo: Amazon) 

(Photo: Amazon)

[sic] i am writing this review after spending 2 days in jail, i turned on the volume at full on these Beoplay A9 and my neighbors uncle died. 

Deepak

(Photo: Amazon)

[sic] This elegant speaker from the house of Bang and Olufsen changed my life. I always knew I was gifted. I was blessed. But this is my power. This helps me communicate with the other side. I have started on my special journey. I can hear paranormal sounds of spirits calling out to me. Recently, I heard my dead grandmother scolding me over the ransom money I charged my parents after kidnapping my younger sister. But it was worth it. With the money, I purchased this classic piece of art which is smaller than my palm and is super fragile. It connects with my phone. Tablet and refrigerator also. It is so loud that I can also earn money by playing it in weddings as a DJ. The best thing is that if I play it in India, my cousins from Canada call me to ask me to change the song. Making my belief firm, in the conspiracy theory of the dark side of the moon, this wonderful gadget has helped me communicate with aliens also. Great experience. Must buy. Else you will be doomed.  

Gaurav Kaushik

Even Headphones Don’t Escape The Ire

Price: Rs 219,783 (Photo: Flipkart)

(Photo: Flipkart)

[sic] These headphones are marvellous they changed my life!!!! I was about 10 yrs old my right leg was cut due to car accident. 8 yrs later I had gone to very famous priest. I told him all my difficulties. Then he told me to buy Akg pro audio K812pro from flipkart. I brough then immediately by selling my car! BUT it really worked. As soon I started listening music with this headphone, My leg began to grow again and after 30 min my leg had grown completely. He was right this headphone is really a life saver. Thank you priest and very very thanx to Akg. 

Koustav Das

Space-Age Audio Gear?

Price: Rs 441,583 (Photo: Flipkart) 

(Photo: Flipkart)

[sic] Planned to buy a car but wasn’t available on Flipkart so decided to buy these instead...thankfully now even when i am riding my bicycle on the road , i don’t have to acknowledge the constant honking and i have already witnessed 3 fatal and 7 non-fatal car crashes on my account. So good of the drivers to not ignore me and for diverting their own course risking their lives for me, these headphones are a blessing. Go for it. Thumbs up all the way.

Finn Troll

Please never change, internet.