The Curious Case of Indian Internet Trolls

What trolls would fit Arvind Kejriwal and Virat Kohli? (Photo: The Quint)

So, are you a social media junkie? Then toh pakka you’ve met the internet troll. Bhai trolls, your frenemy, without whom Twitter and FB would be darn boring. Yes, that very troll who spends his/her working hours scanning the internet looking for a bakra – ’coz hey, trolls just wanna have fun!

But who are these trolls? And is it a good idea to feed their fancy?

Here’s a quick guide to the world of trolls and those-who-must-be-ignored!

#I love Trouble Troll

They are the vella trolls, who have nothing better to do. They are perpetual haters who are just waiting to unleash their anger or insult others. Sounds more like KRK or Ram Gopal Verma, right? They need no motives to ruin your day. Ah, jobless folks!

Solution: Ha ha ha ha... it all and move on. Vella trolls hate it if you ignore them.

#Main Na Kehta Tha Troll

The know-it-all trolls are more ‘know’ledgeable than you think. They spend their time trying to put other people down and back their claims with newspaper articles. One cannot use the media while accusing them of being sold to the Central government!

Psst, did we hear Arvind Kejriwal’s name?

Solution: Introduce them to Nigerian politics. That’ll keep them shut for a while.

#Follow the Leader Troll

They are on social media only because they have to be on social media. They have no contribution towards mankind and no mind of their own. For them, the best way to use this platform is to follow their leaders and just retweet. It’s a one-click job!

Btw, have you seen Smriti Irani’s timeline recently?

Solution: Just unfollow them. NOW.

#I, Me, Myself Troll

These are the Virat ‘kinda’ Kohli trolls. They lurrrrvveee themselves and social media is their oyster. All the person needs is his/her selfies. Main aur meri selfie, aksar yeh photos kheech te hai... Aise kheech te, toh kaisa hota…

Solution: Try to disable their ‘upload photo’ option.

#Preacher Troll

Social media is blessed to have them. Amidst all the negativity, suddenly comes an enlightening tweet thanking god for the wonderful day. We surely need such assurances in the middle of all the craziness.

Dr Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh ki jai!

Solution: Where’s the block button?

#Angry Troll

They are always pissed off. They are the Hulks of social media. Just don’t get this person angry, if you don’t want your timeline spammed.

Errr, Sanjay Jha, please don’t get angry. This one is especially for you.

Solution: Disable that CAPS LOCK key.

#Victim Troll

They are the ‘bechara’ trolls. The poor victims of this brutal virtual world. They’ve got themselves to pity and defend. Rishi Kapoor, we feel your pain.

Solution: Yawn! Read and scroll on.