The Art Of Seduction In Four Simple Words

How do you go about the art of wooing with the help of JUST four simple words?

#SeduceMeIn4Words, says Twitter.   

(Photo: iStock) 

There was a time when we waxed poetic about fifteenth century verses, laced with professions of love, tainted with exaggerated bits, and grilled in mawkish foil.

Hear my soul speak,

Of the very instant that I saw you,

Did my heart fly at your service.

or

I love you more than words can wield the matter,

Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty.

The words mean well, I am sure, but c’mmon! They’re probably still swirling around in radio silence. Methinks, the lady never reverted. Anyway, that time is LONG gone.

Now, the wily trade secrets of microblogging force you to keep it short, simple, and REAL. Twitter opiners are gifts that keep on giving, right? Well, this time they’ve opened the floodgates of ‘seduction’ with mighty eloquence...and brevity.

If you want to seduce, hold your fuzz and do it in FOUR simple words.

Rules of the game?

From what I’ve gathered, you’ve got to step out of your Freudian complexes and go beyond physical attributes. Seduce, but with...let’s say – common interests. Frankly, we don’t give a d**n about rosy lips, golden hair, flushed cheeks, flat abs, or brown eyes.

(Photo: Giphy) 

We’re talking--

Movies. Music. Books. Food. Schools of Thought.

Extend your seduction to include that which taps into both your personalities, and all tweet-crossed lovers shall unite!

#SeduceMeIn4Words:

Let’s call in sick.

Oi, biryani or biryani?

Let’s read about consent.

Can’t we just sleep?

I love Harry Potter.

Let’s Netflix together.

Star Wars or Avengers?

Now, you know how they say that there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts?

Similarly...

-There are as many kinds of interests as there are loves.

-There are as many kinds of Twitter factions as there are interests.

-There are as many kinds of Twitter sub-factions as there are Twitter factions.

Before I get carried away, here’s what I am trying to say: Twitter is divided into diverse groups with diverse interests, right? And no stone is being left unturned while penning down ‘seduction’- riddled verses that cater to all the groups!

What exactly is the buzz like, in that case?

It is a treasure-trove of relatable chaos.

Before I get into the actual tweets doing the rounds, here is a gist of the the uber- compartmentalised interests ‘seducing’ their way into your timeline with just four words.

Existential Twitter:

- Everything sucks, let’s complain,

- How are you, despair?

Academic Twitter:

- Missed the research deadline.

- You post-modernist mess!

- The book was better! (than the movie)

Anti-Trump Twitter:

- Let’s take Trump down

-America, are you there?

Food Twitter:

- French fries and chill?

- Let’s think about pizza.

- Let’s get fat together.

Stan (‘Stalker+Fan’) Twitter:

Actually, let’s change it to what we prefer- Fan Twitter:

- I love SRK movies

-Ryan Reynolds/ Blake’s husband?

- Let’s watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S again.

(Photo: Giphy) 

You get the drift, right?

Now, for the real show:

Let’s face it. Wooing is not an easy feat. And we’ve got to get it right this time!

Remember what Neruda said?

“I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.”

Umm...NO.

Let’s rephrase:

“I want to do with you what you do in your free time.”