Satire: We Baked a C.A.K.E for Modi Ji’s 66th Happy Birthday

We baked a glorious cake on Modi Ji’s B’day, and it tasted modilicious.

The glorious cake we made for our dear Modi ji on his 66th Birthday. (Photo: The Quint)

For our beloved most best Prime Minister Narendra Damodardas Modi’s 66th Birthday, we baked him a cake straight from the heart.

For those of you who want to replicate it at home, here’s the recipe:

Start with a swachh workstation.

Add gangajal (water from the Ganges for English speakers), straight from Varanasi, to purify it.

If the surface makes any mention to the 2002 riots, or gau rakshaks, or dalit atrocities, then make sure you scrub it harder.

Put 1 cup of Vikas brand atta, straight from Gujarat with 2 tsp of PR Management in a bowl.

Add 1 cup tears of RSVP (read: Rahul, Sonia, Vadra, Priyanka) brand to moisten dough.

Ego massage the dough and rest it aside.

In another bowl, add some ‘Amit Shah Butter’ for some weight.

Do NOT add any eggs. This is a shuddh shakahari cake.

Instead add curd... in ‘Riot’a form.

Milk the Bharat Mata brand.

Add some ‘Maa ka pyaar’ flavoured sugar to sweeten the cake.

Sprinkle some grade A Irani spices for flavour.

Add ‘plane’ peanuts collected from all abroad trips.

Some bromance-flavoured chocolate imported from the US.

Add saffron-coloured flavouring – fresh from Kashmir.

Let the dough and the mixture hug each other well.

Add some ‘Swacch’ schemes and some ‘Mitron’ to the mix.

Don’t forget to put chunks of Digital India.

Take a baking vessel, make sure it’s Make in India.

Lay some Acche Din biscuit at the bottom, and add some mix.

Layer it with tweets (do add the tweet of Modi ji wishing Arvind Kejriwal a Happy Birthday).

Pour mixture on top and bake in a microwave. Make sure the microwave is made in India as well.

Take the cake out. It probably looks like crap, so photoshop it slightly to improve appearances.

Line up corner of the cake with ‘Modi’ ‘Modi’ ‘Modi’ (remember the suit? wink wink).

Put a picture of Modi ji on top, of course.

Serve with chai.

Video Editor: Kunal Mehra
Hands: Badshah Ray
D.O.P: Sanjoy Deb
Camera Assistant: Shiv Kumar Maurya