QSatire: Salman Khan Should Endorse a Driverless Car

Salman Khan can’t endorse cars and bikes, can he? The Quint has got a few suggestions for him.

Wheel is definitely one brand Sallu Bhai must not endorse. (Photo Illustration: Lijumol Joseph/ The Quint)

Salman Khan is a free man!

It’s been 13 years and the actor has somehow dodged jail attacks. Life’s been tough for bhai. Playing goody two-shoes on silver screen. Attending filmy parties, taking selfies, flying kites with netas. Giving expensive gifts (gaining sympathy comes with a high price). Keeping his relationship undercover (thankfully Lulia Vantur does not resemble any of his exes).

No more of those any more. Sallu can do whatever he wants!

He can get his life back on track – by doing away with everything that has got anything to do with tracks. Get it?

We at The Quint decided to help bhai out (we’re just ‘Being Human’, you see) and list a few endorsements which he should let go off. That would not burn a hole in his pocket. After all, it’s been reported that Salman’s estimated earnings stand at Rs 202.75 crore, ranking him the second in the Forbes’s top-earning Indian celebrity list.

Yatra.com

This is one journey which needs to end. 2015 has been the year of court yatras for Sallu Bhai. Travelling from Bandra to South Mumbai must have taken a toll on him. It’s time for Salman to just chill at home with his Romanian model girlfriend Lulia Vantur. It does seem to be the safest option (not for him, but for the pedestrians).

Thums Up

Life’s looking good now, dear Salman.

Acquitted from all charges – Thums Up.

Gotta new girlfriend – Thums Up.

Retained the crown of a 100-crore film club – Thums Up.

Bhai, on a serious note, enough of those toofani acts of yours. Be it in the jungle, city or even on the social media. It always gets you in trouble. Honestly, 50 is not the age for doing something more toofani than what you have already done.

Suzuki Hayate

Many a Suzuki motorcycles have been endorsed by Bhai, and he has been seen riding one in his film Kick.

The irony – a man, who allegedly mowed down people while driving a car, is now selling a bike or a car. Sounds odd?

Let’s just take it off road Bhai!

Wheel

Need we say more?

Just wash it away from your brand endorsement list.

But there is one thing Salman Khan MUST endorse when he gets an opportunity. And that is:

A Driverless Car

Google defines a driverless car as an autonomous vehicle, capable of fulfilling the main transportation capabilities of a traditional car. In simple words: this is an appropriate vehicle for bhai (he can drink and drive), and will also ensure the safety of us mere mortals.