QSatire: Are you on Ashley Madison’s Cheat-Radar? Pray and Read On

If you’re on the list of Ashley Madison adulterers, The Quint has got a Plan B for you.

Pray to god, you’re not a part of the Ashley Madison adulterers list. (Photo: iStock)

For more than 2.7 lakh Indians, Wednesday morning was not a pleasant one. No. Not because Wednesdays are inherently evil, but because a hacking group called The Impact Team threatened to expose data from the dating site Ashley Madison.

If you’re one of those 2.7 lakh, who are part of this sexual fantasy world, now is a good time to pray to whichever God you believe in.

But while you keep transmitting prayers heaven-wards, have you calculated your next move, if your name gets announced in the open? The Quint has a few suggestions.

#ShareYourLove

If you’re one of those who believe that money can buy happiness, then now is the time to act on your conviction. Start showering your partner with love — buy her diamonds, or buy him gizmos. Send her for a daylong spa treatment, or pack him off for a game of golf.

Do whatever you can to keep your partner happy. Be a part of the #ShareYourLove campaign, and hope that these gifts can make you sail through a rather turbulent patch that might hit you soon.

It Wasn’t Me

A drunkard always says he’s not drunk, and a thief always claims that he/she did not steal. Get the drift?

Just like the site, your credit card details have been hacked too. Wink, wink!

Secret Service Agent

This might sound absurd, but not as silly as you logging on to a site to cheat on your spouse. So here it goes — you can pose as a RAW agent, on a mission to uncover a honey trap plot.

Love, sex, aur dhoka!

Satyamev Jayate

Last, but not the least. If you’re caught with your pants down, it’s time you own up. There is no guarantee that she/he will forgive you but that’s the least you can do. Only if you’re haunted by a little voice inside you, called conscience.