QSatire: All That Glitters Is Gold, And It’s Cheap, Fellow Indians

Gold prices are at their lowest, so we decided to bring you a list of people who can benefit from this.

(L-R) Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Bappi Lahiri and Rahul Yadav. (Photo: The image has been altered by The Quint)

Look at the gold
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they are all yellow

Sorry Chris Martin for slightly altering the lyrics of your song, but yellow seems to be the colour of the season.

It’s achche din for gold-loving Indians as prices have hit the lowest for the first time in the last five years.

Bappi Da, probably a good time to record De de gold de…

The Quint brings to you a list of people who can probably benefit from the falling prices of gold.

Marry-Gold Time

This is for all the ‘we’re just friend’ couples. If you intend to take your relationship a step forward, then this is the best time to indulge in some gold shopping. And if by next year, you’re no longer friends, that’s okay — any investment in gold is always a good bet.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali –Gold Che

The filmmaker is a happy man not because of the raving response he’s received for Bajirao Mastani, but because he can now buy gold in bulk and use it in his future projects. Like a good business-minded Gujarati, he knows his sone-chandi ka bhau.

Vijay Mallya – King of Gold Times

This might come a little too late, but you could still consider it, provided you have some cash on you. How about investing in gold and not in an extravagant Kingfisher Calendar? Think about it, you can get yourself unburdened a bit with all the debt, if you sell the gold when prices hike.

Rahul Yadav – CEO, Zaaveri.com

The sacked former CEO of Housing.com, Rahul Yadav hopes to be a millionaire soon and make a comeback within 30 days. Don’t know about his plans, but we do have a suggestion for you Rahul Maverick Yadav. Rahul could probably launch a website called zaaveri.com on renting and buying jewellery online. Sounds familiar? The business will not only make him rich but also help him to get a girlfriend, who he’s been looking desperately for on Facebook.

Lalit Modi – Golden Opportunity Missed

Falling gold prices might be good news for Indians living in India, but not for those with a major visa controversy. Yes, we’re talking of Lalit Modi, who wishes he had the visa to travel to India, not just for medical reasons, but also for metal reasons.