Move Aside Fat Tax, Punjab Might Introduce ‘Kaneda’ Tax Soon

Have you heard of Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai Tax ? Well, you’ll soon hear one.

Are you all set for Kaneda Tax? (Illustration: Lijumol Joseph/ The Quint) 

The ‘fat’ has weighed down on God’s Own Country and bechare people now need to dig deep into their pockets each time they plan to bite into a juicy, scrumptious fried chicken or cheesy, thin crust pizza or meatilicous burger.

The Kerala government has imposed 14.5 percent ‘fat tax’ on all major fast food restaurants to control the rise in obesity.

So while the people of Kerala are trying to shed the extra ‘fat’, we at The Quint came up with three unique taxes that probably should be implemented soon.

Also read:
Five Reasons Why Kerala’s Fat Tax is a Façade
Binging at McDonald’s? Kerala Imposes 14.5% ‘Fat’ Tax on Junk Food

Tu Jaanta Nahi Hai Mera Baap Kaun Hai Tax

As soon as Delhi ‘laundas’ find themselves in a fix, out comes the ‘mera baap’ excuses. If your pretty face/puppy face’ papa’s money fails to melt the pot-belly cops than daddy’s name might just save ’em.

That’s what the Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal is trying to curb. He’ll impose a 15 per cent tax on dudes, who say the magical sentence, ‘Tu jaanta nahi hai mera baap kaun hai’. The ticket would be added to their driving license which would electronically tell the thulla that he/she is a repeat offender.

This way the state government would not only control the baapgiri racket but also fill up its treasury.

Kaneda Tax

Taking a cue from Kerala, the Punjab government too have decided to impose ‘Kaneda’ (read: Canada) tax on Punjabi families, who have not sent even a single member to work in Canada. The idea behind this move is to get maximum Kaneda dollars in to the state.

To encourage this ‘Udta Punjabi’ move, the government should get Sunny Leone as its brand ambassador, though she was a popular name in her adoptive country (Canada) she struck Jackpot in India. And who wouldn’t like that?

Toppers Tax

After class XII Art student topper, Ruby Ray said, “Polidecal Science (read: Political Science) is about cooking.” The state government knew they were in for a big trouble. The Bihar’s toppers scam revealed the failure of the educational system in the state.

So to save the government from cooking up further embarrassment, they’ve decided to impose a 10 per cent ‘toppers tax’ on children and their parents, who encourage them to cheat or get a fake mark sheet. The government hopes to curb the evil practice of cheating in the exams and get a real topper from the state.

Also read:
Bihar Topper Scam: Probe Team De-Recognises 4 Colleges, FIR Lodged
Arrested Bihar ‘Topper’ Ruby Rai Wrote One Line for Tulsidas Essay
Bihar Toppers Scam: Fake Intermediate Certificates Sold for 5 Lakh