Dear Minister Dhavalikar,

A quick and easy solution to eve teasing, sexual harassment and rape is indeed the crying need of the nation.

And you offered such a simple one. One that needs no law, no fast courts, no security, no CCTV cameras,  no cops... just a saree with “ek chutki sindoor”. I refer to your statement that your wife “has lived her entire life wearing kumkum and sarees. She was never a victim of eve-teasing”.

Is it really as simple as that? Does wearing a saree with a dash of kumkum really ward off all manner of leer and lust? The way a mosquito net wards off blood-sucking pests?

I went hunting for evidence that would substantiate your saree-as-rape-llant theory.

Since you and your missus feel that the blame lies with ‘Western culture’, I made Hindu Dharma and mythology my first stop. The Mahabharat.

Wasn’t Draupadi wearing a saree when, overcome with power, male ego and some degree of lust, Duryodhana ordered that she be stripped?  Lord Krishna descended from the heavens to help her but only after the saree-clad “Eve“ had been “teased”.

I then ruffled through history – to two landmark rape cases.

The Mathura rape case from Maharashtra. Where 18-year-old Mathura was raped by two constables inside a thana. Do you know what the hapless teen was wearing when that happened, Sirji? A saree.

The Bhanwari Devi rape case.  Bhanwari was wearing  the traditional Rajasthani equivalent of a saree when she was gangraped –  a ghagra-choli.  But then a mere drape cannot protect those who flout the Hindu Dharma, as Bhanwari had, opposing child marriages in her village.

Confused I sought recourse, like everyone else, in Bollywood.

Sirji, the saree definitely did not save Sridevi in Mr India,  Sushmita Sen in Main Hoon Na and “dhak dhak” Madhuri from becoming victims of collective lust among sighing souls trapped in dark theatres.

Not finding evidence in epics, history and 70mm, I turned to newspaper headlines.

And there it was, Sirji – women covered from top to ankle in Western outfits had indeed been raped.  And it didn’t stop at that.  Young girls in school uniforms had been molested. Some as young as three years.

Would you advise all school uniforms to be changed to sarees?  So that toddlers could be wrapped in yardage and rolled off to school.

In conclusion, even in the absence of hard evidence, maybe “Western culture” influenced women like me should give the saree a shot.

I can already see myself, draped in a saree with the “chutki sindoor”, four kids in tow, watching a Marathi film in prime time, munching on non-beefy snacks.

Now, that’s really going the whole five yards!