Dear Shankar Lal, Your Allegiance to Gau Mata Moved us to Tears

What an innovative way of utilising cow excreta, don’t you think?

Wanna know the benefits of gobar? Just scroll down. (Photo: The Quint)

Uh-Oh!

Did we just embark upon a world where every ounce of cow excreta wasted could be detrimental to our social lives? Is this the world that Jaddu warned us about eons ago when he gave Hrithik Roshan his adolescence back?

Damn you, prophesies! I knew I should have taken soothsayers more seriously.

RSS’ ideologue Shankar Lal’s suggestions vis-a-vis cow protection and its innovative use of waste disposal comes at an opportune time; it helps reignite the lost reverence for the gau mata.

If you’re suffering from a crushed social life because of your phone’s limited battery, then go back to the prophesies and do as Mr Lal says. We have collated some of his gems for you: read, preach, and apply.

Gobar-ed much? (Photo Courtesy: Liju Joseph/The Quint)

That’s how you get your social life back. (Photo Courtesy: Liju Joseph/The Quint)

Hey uncles and aunties, make sure you’re reading this. (Photo Courtesy: Liju Joseph/The Quint)

Listen up, Preggers! (Photo Courtesy: Liju Joseph/The Quint)

We don’t NOT expect Twitter to not have an opinion on this. Here are some gems.

Side Effects: Your phone, hands and hair will constantly smell of cow effluents; you may lose some friends but will gain some in the bargain too.

Those who will stay with you will be those who take cows, RSS and vigilantism seriously, so the best ones basically – those who believe in extra-terrestrial creatures, unicorns and Jaadus.