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The Adarsh TV Anchor: What He Thinks Like, Acts Like & Sounds Like

There’s news anchors. And then, there’s Adarsh TV news anchors. Meet this famous anchor up close and personal. 

Divyani Rattanpal & Arnica Kala
Satire
Updated:
The Adarsh TV anchor 
i
The Adarsh TV anchor 
(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

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(This story was first published on April 12, 2019. It is being republished from The Quint’s archives to mark World Press Freedom Day)

There are anchors and then there are Adarsh TV anchors. But what does the Adarsh TV anchor think, say and do that makes him stand so tall? Well, look no further.

He Chooses Wisely

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

The Adarsh TV anchor doesn’t let a strong fact come in the way of his journalism. His facts are always put through a litmus test. If the fact comes out red, then it is junked in the dustbin. If the fact emerges blue, it gets a go-ahead.

Could Run A University Of Jingoism

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Because he is the chief guest on his own show, the Adarsh TV anchor has complete liberty to issue certificates to whoever appears on his show. Some get the ‘nationalist’ certificate. And others, he isn’t so fond of, are quickly labelled ‘anti-national’ and Tukde Tukde gang as you will see below.

Has His Favourite ‘Brands’

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

He loves those labels, especially ‘ Pseudo-sickular’, ‘Lutyens Lobby’ and of course ‘Tukde Tukde’. Arrey, how else will he discredit other lesser journalists who don’t believe in his brand of news?

Courageously Fights... From Inside The Studio

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Because border bahut dur hai. Why go to the borders when you can wage a war on your TV screens every night?

Has Finely Tuned Instincts

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

The Adarsh TV anchor believes in blowing his own the sarkari trumpet. Exit scoops and investigative stories. Enter government congratulating itself as ‘exclusives’.

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Loves The Sound Of His Own Voice

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Because seven people fighting for screen time are great to cancel each other’s sound.

When Tags Won’t Do, He Brings Out The ‘Bashtags’

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Move over hashtags, the Adarsh TV anchor’s astra (weapon) is the ‘bashtag’.

Balances The Pros And Cons

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Not one to take chances on his relationship with the government, he makes sure he doesn’t ruffle any feathers. Rafale? Cough, cough.

Asks Tough Questions, But Only to Those Who Question the Government

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Because the biggest rule in journalism is to question those in out of power. Such tough. Much wow.

Agrees That Big Interviews Should Be A Big Win-Win

And what does he do when he gets those big interviews with the powers that be? He sticks to a safe script that becomes an admiration fest which is a win-win for all!

(Photo: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

But, will the Adarsh TV anchor show more Adarshness as India gears up for elections? The nation badly wants to know.

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Published: 12 Apr 2019,05:22 PM IST

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