Are You an Adarsh University Student In the Time of Protests?

Find out if you are an adarsh student in times of the anti-CAA-NRC protests.

(Illustration: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

This year, you could be the lucky one to earn the prestigious title of being an Adarsh University student. As students across the country take to the streets to protest against the CAA-NRC, this is your chance to stand out from the crowd.

But, to be rewarded with this highest status you need to stop doing silly things like raising your voice against injustice in the country or even humming to Faiz Ahmad Faiz’s ‘ Hum Dekhenge’. You must also stay away from fake WhatsApp messages. *Tauba Tauba*.

Kuch nahi hoga! You’ll just be labelled as “anti-national” or given a one-way ticket to “Pakistan”.

But hey, don’t you worry, with the help of this chart you’ll find ways to curb your freedom of speech and become an Adarsh University student. *Tadaaaa*

(P.S: Please keep a print out of this kagaz, it might come handy in the future.)

The Do’s and Don’ts of 2020’s sanskari balak!(Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

The first step to be an Adarsh University student is to not stress your brain much, let it relax and stop looking for logic. Just blindly listen to what your guruji aka the vice chancellor has to say. Kyunki, believe it or not, wohi bhagwan hai.

Does Not Sing ‘Hum Dekhenge’ at anti CAA-NRC protest.(Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

True Gandhian ethos! (Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Vice chancellors to students: “Kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki apun hi bhagwan hai”!(Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Keep reminding yourself, ‘All iz well’ and magically, everything around you will make sense. Getting lathi charged should be considered as a part of your syllabus. This would only make you more sanskari.

All iz well! (Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Chalo university! (Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

‘Dharna’. Na. NA.NA. Because protest looked cool only in Rang De Basanti. Just sit at home, Netflix and Chill!

It’s not in my ‘Dharna’!(Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Please check the number you’ve dialled!(Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Are you a graduate from WhatsApp University? (Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Be very careful! (Illustrations: Arnica Kala/The Quint)