Want iPhone XS, XR? Spare That Kidney, Try Selling These Instead

Cross your heart, it’s time to go beyond kidney jokes. Here’s a handy list of items you can exchange for iPhone XS.

Ek iPhone ki keemat tum kya jaano Ramesh babu!

(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

Every time Apple launches a new iPhone, the number of kidney donors on my social media shoot up. Somebody goes even further to offer their limbs. The fact that iPhone is not really a hands-free device doesn’t dissuade them one bit. And yaar, same jokes every year? It’s not like you are Apple which can recycle last year’s hit with a dash of chrome and ask me to pay extra premium this year (burn intended).

Original like every other kidney joke out there.(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

Here's some relevant desi stuff you can sell to get that elusive smartphone.

Savings Gaya Tel Lene

Price of a litre of petrol in Mumbai breached 88 rupees on 13 September 2018. On the brighter side, you can get 1 litre of petrol in less than a dollar. Yay! But hey, if you have some oil reserves handy or you could ‘Sheikh’ things up a bit, this fossil fuel can unlock the screen of your new iPhone XS/XR.

BJP fans will appreciate.(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

PS – Why do you need expensive oil when you can have cheap data plans for your shiny new iPhones? #Logic

My bike gives a good mileage – 70 kilometres in 1 GB. (Screengrab: YouTube)

Gold for Rose Gold?

Not all that glitters is gold. It could be ‘rose gold’ – the epitome of ultra luxurious lifestyle, topped with a shiny Apple logo – but it’s actually a cherry pink-tinted phone. But hey, it says gold. Kaafi hai!

While your asli sona can be judged to be an artificial one at the colony ki party you’re invited to, an iPhone – with the fingers strategically placed to show the logo – never misses a compliment. It’s worth its weight in gold.

Go for gold, or rose gold?(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

Jet Set Go

Skyrocketing prices of iPhone make news every year, but clearly, sky is not the limit anymore. With every iPhone launch and its subsequent pricing, the aam janta thinks, yeh to scam hai ji!

With the launch of iPhone XS, if you stay focussed, there’s a chance of striking a good deal on iPhone 6. #AukaatAnusaar

What if you could give away one of the Rafale jets? Waise bhi the price is becoming a headache for the sarkaar.

The fighter plane may have the headphone jack though.(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

iLoan ka Interest

Chacha, mausi, maami, and every other rishtedaar coming from ‘phoren’ countries have always been unofficial gift bearers. Since India is trying really hard to get Vijay Mallya back, will it be too much to ask him to pick one iPhone XS on his way back.

The self proclaimed ‘king of good times’ might be coming back to the land of ‘achhe din’. Oh my goodness! If it interests, here’s a default trick you can bank upon. All puns intended.

Imagine if Mallya gifts the loan amount to you! Ridiculous, I know, but the operative word here is, imagine. Here’s how many iPhones you can fly away with.

Apple ka naya Maal lia?(Design: Aaqib Raza Khan/TheQuint)

Do you have some new kidney jokes? Please share them in the comments below. The best response gets an iPhone XS Max wallpaper. No kidney-ing.