‘Did Her Blue Eyes Just Turn Purple?’ & Other Thoughts I Had During Gadar 2

'Gadar 2' is a three-hour long screaming match between Tara Singh (Sunny Deol) and...well, Tara Singh.

(Photo Courtesy: YouTube; Altered by The Quint)

Picture this: a hyper-melodramatic sequel that nobody asked for, riding on the coattails of its cult classic predecessor, Gadar: Ek Prem Katha. If you were among the lucky ones who watched the hit 2001 film and connected with it, I tip my hat to you.

But for the rest of us Gen Z audiences who hadn't even switched to solid food by the time it released, Gadar 2 offers about as much emotional resonance as a brick wall. So here are 10 honest thoughts I had while watching a film that could best be described as a three-hour long jingoistic headache:

1. Gadar 2 takes the term "over the top" and sends it skydiving without a parachute. Right off the bat, I couldn't believe I was watching a 2023 film. I mean, sure the movie is set during the Crush India Movement in the 80s but I didn't expect the filmmaker to be stuck in 1971, as well!

The melodrama, shoddy dialogues and shouty music will make you wonder if director Anil Sharma just found a stash of rejected scripts from the '80s, decided to dust them off, and thought, "Hey, let's slap a '2' on this and call it a day!"

2. There are two female characters with somewhat of a role in this sea of men, and both of them are from Pakistan. And how did the filmmakers decide to show that? Sakeena's (Ameesha Patel) eyes are electric blue and Muskaan's (Simrat Kaur) are neon green. But what's even more ridiculous is how throughout the runtime, we literally see the colour-grading turn their eyes into purple and brown, respectively!

(Photo Courtesy: Giphy)

3. I would love to know if they even hired dialogue writers because I could probably count on my fingers and toes, the total amount of words exchanged in the film. Each dialogue unfurls a string of suggestive pauses, maniacal yelling and an extensive variety of on-the-nose background music.

4. I’m feeling myself age several years in this multiplex seat. Why is this film so long? Why is Ameesha Patel smiling, even when she is crying? Why is Sunny Deol screaming everything...everywhere...all at once?

(Footage Courtesy: Giphy)

5. Alright, I confess – I was all of three months old when the first Gadar graced the silver screen. My delicate Gen Z sensibilities cannot possibly laud a film seeped in everything that's wrong with Bollywood.

Especially with recent hits in the box office like Barbenheimer and Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahani, it's a clear sign that mindless, archaic films upholding the patriarchy are slowly losing their cult status and finally making way for nuanced and sensitive portrayals with substance.

6. Just when you thought uprooting hand pumps was Tara Singh's only party trick, Gadar 2 steps in to reveal his impressive career change – now he's a lamp post liberation specialist! Move over, Hulk, because this time Tara Singh is vandalising even bigger city infrastructure.

7. Gadar 2's second half becomes even more painful, with Tara Singh and his son being stuck in a death-defying loop. The sheer repetition of their miraculous survivals had me daydreaming about seeking refuge under Tara Singh's trusty hand pump – I'd take any change of an emergency exit from this loop of never-ending peril.

8. And just when I thought I'd seen it all, Gadar 2 delivers the final plot twist.

The fastest I've ever escaped a film theatre is when the end credits ominously whispered "To be continued."

I'm pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes and started drafting a résumé for a career change, because writing Gadar 3's honest review is a challenge I might just tap out of.