All You (Didn’t) Need To Know About Peeing And Pooping In Space

A bag taped to your butt, a condom shaped sheath and ‘expanded’ male egos are the long and short of it

Space Scatology on Twitter

Image: The Quint

It all started with her article on what it will take for the first woman and the next man to walk the moon by 2024, for NASA’s Project Artemis. But the response that writer Mary Robinette Kowal received on her NYT article about Gender in space showed her that a lot of people wondered if there would me more women in space if it was simply made easier for them to pee up there.

But exactly how does one pee when up in space whether you are a man or a woman? And poop for that matter? From condom shaped sacs, to adult diapers, Kowal’s twitter thread spares no detail on how to get on with the important businesses of number one and number two when in zero gravity and is a fly, I mean eye opener if there ever was one.

Wetting Yourself In Your Suit

When Alan Shephard became the first American man to go into space, it was scheduled to be a fifteen minute mission. They made no plans for peeing. He hit a point when he needed to go badly. He asked Mission Control for permission to go in his suit. So he wet himself and still went into space

Mary Robinette Kowal, Twitter

After the first American man to go into space had to unceremoniously wet himself a new invention was ‘launched’.

The Launch of The Condom Shaped Sheath

You can take men into space but you can’t take penis insecurity out of them. With the condoms coming in sizes small, medium and large, no man wanted to admit that he needed a ‘small’, so they had to rename them Extra Large, Immense and Unbelievable. Not unlike the egos up there, one assumes.

Miss,I Need To Go Number Two.

Okay, Grab A Bag, and Some Tape.

And ummm which way to the Lady’s Washroom Please?

Ha ha ! You’re In It Already

And then came the Maximum Absorbency Garment which is Space Speak for ‘Diaper’.

Imagine earthling parents saying " Hey honey don’t forget to pack the maximum absorbency garments’’ for baby! Moving on...

More Fun Space Pooping Facts Below...Where does Poop Go Without Gravity?

So Mary Robinette concludes that the reason women didn’t go into space was not because the technology did not exist for them, the technology did not exist period, and was still being developed for both men and women in what was clearly a process of trial and error.

Still it doesn’t take a way from the fact that there was generally alot of ignorance about what women needed, or didn’t. Case in point, Sally Ride being asked if she needed a hundred tampons for a week.

Looks like space is also a great place to inflate the male ego....if this account of a ‘wooden puppet friend’ is to be believed.

With space tourism not so far in the horizon these are just a few pointers one might want to keep in mind before we ask for the way to the washroom.