A ‘Chindi’ Birthday Gift Guide for the Loan-Ly Vijay Mallya

What can Vijay Mallya buy with his leftover pounds?

Here’s a chindi birthday gift guide for the fallen-from-luxury Mallya. 

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It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a villa, some luxurious cars, a yacht, and what not!

Indian banks have been going crazy with the flash ‘sale’ on former Indian liquor baron, Vijay Mallya’s maal, faster than the Wednesday market wale bhaiyajis, for a while now.

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This time (or shall we say yet again?) it is the Kingfisher Villa. Place your (hypothetical) bets people, the villa (along with some fancy cars) will be auctioned on 19 December, for a going price of Rs 82 crore.

(Photo: Altered by The Quint)

The real burn, however, is that the auction date is one day after Mallya’s 62nd birthday.

Villa toh gaya, so we thought, why not advice Mr M on what he can buy with his leftover pounds.

So, here’s a chindi birthday gift guide for the fallen-from-luxury Mallya:

A Game of Jenga

This first suggestion is inspired by another luxurious property, Mukesh Ambani’s coveted Antilia, aka the habitable version of a half-played game of Jenga.

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For just Rs 300 or less, Mr M can buy himself a toy-version of Antilia, and can arrange the blocks as he likes. An exercise in passing time and learning architecture in one! A villa in his very pocket!

Mr M, however, must make sure his Jenga doesn’t topple like his fortunes.

A Kingfisher Bottle Opener

Now we know Mr M that alcohol is a solution to most of your problems, par kya karen, we’re not allowed to advertise or promote it. Also, mehengi daaru is probably not in your budget right now.

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So, while you drink away your sorrows, we thought a Kingfisher bottle opener would make a good gift. Talk about surrogate advertising! We’ve learnt from the best, aka you Mr M.

A Meme Generating App

Indian banks might not like you too much, but one set of people, who keep a watchful eye on your every public appearance, every move, every change in expression, are the meme-makers.

These are the people who have made ample use of your free pictures online. *wink*

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If you’re tired of memes — and of your face being morphed in all kinds of funny ways — and want to get back at your mean fans, you can simply download a meme generating app on your phone.

The best part about this gift – it’s free!

Also Watch: Vijay Mallya Fakexclusive: The Interview That Never Happened

We know, we know, Mallya still probably has enough money to celebrate his birthday bash in style, but chindi gifts do have their own charm!

Think you have better chindi gift suggestions for the loan-ly Mallya? Tell us in the comments section.