“Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just You?’’Asked the Notorious Flirt

“You must be a broom, ‘cause you just swept me off my feet’’- The lost art of flirting with care.

TL;DR: Too Long; Didn’t Read.

(Photo: TheQuint)

TL;DR: One must take flirting very seriously.

It is time we gave a flirt his due credit. Especially in a pub.

Not only is he reviving the lost art of conversing with a TOTAL stranger, but also putting a risk-proof ego at stake. Flirting is like walking a tight rope. You have to wilfully discount a potentially awkward brush-off. Thus, a flirt needs creative skill, imagination and astute sensitivity to get it right.

Can we afford to be kinder to him?

Flirting is like walking a tight rope! (Photo: Giphy) 

Pick-up lines are getting cornier by the day. But, when ad-libbed right, I believe they can turn out to be  Oscar Wilde’s wettest dream and Barney Stinson’s driest. 

Last week, an alarmingly optimistic man strode over to our table quite enthusiastically. He staggered over with a quivering can of Heineken and flashy Ray-Bans perched on his head. Resting his elbows on the table-top, he took the liberty of fishing out another pair of sunglasses from his pocket and slipping them on with a David Blaine-esque flourish of his fingers. By now, I was tipsy enough to start seeing three of him. (That's six pairs of sunglasses.)

Ooops!(Photo: Giphy) 

At this point, he managed to blurt out that he'd FALL for me even if there was no gravity. And then, ironically, FELL off his chair and passed out.

Is it better to be the one with a pick-up line or the one on whom it is used? Neither, if you’ve downed more than three shots of liquid courage. 

Pubs have borne testimony to many a comedy of errors. I remember a friend telling me how she had choked on her drumsticks and cringed at this conversation-starter:

''Did you just fart? Because your a** blew me away!"

Clearly, he blew it.

Oh no, you did not!(Photo: Giphy) 

But the point is that there are others who don't. The ones who don't ask you if your father is a terrorist because you look like a bomb or if your face is from McDonald's because he's ''lovin' it''. There are those who are trying relentlessly, with the best of intentions, even when they come up with ridiculous propositions like these:

''I wish I was your derivative just so that I could lie tangent to your curves''

As long as they don’t compare you to food, militants, malodour or deli meat, let’s give them the benefit of our doubts.  

Pretty please? (Photo: Giphy) 

Do think of giving them your number the next time they tell you they ''like you a latte''! (P.S: Definitely waiting to use this!) Or simply tell you that they did have a phenomenal pick-up line in mind, but their nerves got the better of them!

Bottom Line: Ladies, tread softly, because you tread on their (non-offensive) dreams.

(The above is a part of TLDR (Too Long. Didn't Read), a weekly blog that aims to crunch things down for you. I will give you the long and short of most things that need to be taken extremely seriously like your bookshelf, beer, existential dread, aimless conversations, rainy days and bubble-wrap. I promise to cater to all readers, but I brazenly harbour a soft-spot for skimmers, bathroom-readers and infinite scrollers. Now, let's bring the written word back!

P.S: Follow me @medhac1)