My Dating Life Is Like Booking A Cab...A Wild Ride

Picture for Representational Purposes

Image: Instagram/The Quint

Just when you hit the sweetspot in your online relationship and reach the point where you actually thought you’d discovered enough about the other to shower, shave and meet up; bam, you’re ghosted. For those who don’t understand the term, it’s fine. You have chores- SIPs to pay and groceries to buy for the week ahead. Ghosting means the girl/guy didn’t text back- stuff millennials fuss about cause they’re yet to face real rejection.

But you don’t need to be on Tinder to be ghosted..we’ve frequently felt and received ghosting- be it hearing back about a job or a relative we’re avoiding. Heck, I feel ghosted by Uber drivers multiple times! How? Here’s some dating terms explained through IRL situations; ie. calling a Taxi.

“Yaar, he’s avoiding me. Suddenly he’s stopped taking my calls!” -GHOSTING

Image: Romita Roy

SITUATION: You have an important meeting to get to on time. You’ve booked a cab and the driver has told you he’s coming, but 10 minutes later his location is still the same and there’s no response from him.

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- GHOSTING: When you suddenly disappear from someone’s life by not responding in hopes that they will get the hint.

“Bhaiya aap aa gaye? Main do minute mein aayi!” -BENCHING

SITUATION: Your cab has arrived and you’re still lounging around in your pajamas.Image: Romita Roy

SITUATION: Your cab has arrived and you’re still lounging around in your pajamas.

{5 minutes later half-dressed, your phone rings} “Haan bhaiya, bas do minute bola naa aapko!”

{10 minutes later, wearing socks} “Bhaiya main neeche hi hoon, aap nazar nahi aa rahe?”

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- BENCHING: When you don’t really want to date someone seriously but keep them interested by consistently infrequent communication.

“Madam 5 minute, kisiko drop kar raha hoon nazdeek mein” -SLOW FADE

SITUATION: Your cab says he’s 7 minutes away but…     Image: Romita Roy

SITUATION: Your cab says he’s 7 minutes away but…

You: “Hello, bhaiya aap kitni der mai aayenge?”

Cab Driver: “Bas madam 7 minute dikha raha hai”

{10 minutes later }

Cab Driver: “Madam 5 minute, kisiko drop kar raha hoon nazdeek mein”

{Another 10 minutes and you try his number again}

*Beep- Aapka dial kiya gaya number uplabdh nahi hai*

“I cancelled the cab but the map shows he’s still circling this location… Strange…” -HAUNTING

SITUATION: You’ve cancelled your cab but the map on your phone shows he’s circling your localityImage: Romita Roy

SITUATION: You’ve cancelled your cab but the map on your phone shows he’s circling your locality. You think it’s a technical glitch, but then you get a ping:

*Your Uber has arrived. Meet your driver in the next 5 minutes.*

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- HAUNTING: Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things but notice signs of lurking. For eg. There is no conversation between you two, but all your Insta posts are being regularly seen.

“Book another cab on a different app na.” -RECYCLING

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- RECYCLING: Going back to an ex.Image: Romita Roy

SITUATION: Your cab is taking forever to arrive.

Friend: “Book another cab on a different app na.”

You: This one’s showing 40 minutes!! Let the first one come.

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- RECYCLING: Going back to an ex.

“Bhaiya phir aapne ride accept kyun kiya?” -CURVING

SITUATION: Your cab driver is being difficult.Image: Romita Roy

SITUATION: Your cab driver is being difficult.

You: “Bhaiya phir aapne ride accept kyun kiya?”

Driver: “Madam, mujhe kaam aa gaya hai, Andheri nahi jaa sakta. Aap cancel karke doosra kab kijiye.”

*disconnected tone*

You: {stare back at your phone}

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- CURVING: A (not so) subtle rejection.

Finally, your cab has arrived. -CATFISHING

SITUATION: Your cab has finally arrived. You rush to get in.Romita Roy

SITUATION: Your cab has finally arrived. You rush to get in.

You: {hurriedly} “Chaliye bhaiya.”

Driver’s voice: “Ma’am, you will reach your destination at 5.10 pm. What kind of music would you like to listen to?”

You: {look up and see this handsome dude. Now? This had to happen now??}

DATING TERM TRANSLATION- CATFISHING: When you meet your online date who appears completely different IRL (in real life) than they do in their profile.

And that’s all folks! Until next time, hope it was a wild ride!

(The author is a fashion designer and pens the blog, ‘A Girl Named Romita’ about millennial lifestyle, fashion and pop culture. In her words, it’s judgement free, hate free and gluten free. Follow her on @agirlnamedromita on Instagram for more.)