Dear Netas, I’ll Vote for the Least Incompetent Amongst You

I pledge to pay back your debt by standing in long queue.

(Photo Courtesy: (L-R) The Quint/Farzad Awari)

Dear Uddhav Thackeray, Devendra Fadnavis, Aditya Thackeray, Piyush Goyal, Narendra Modi and Sanjay Raut.

A note of gratitude!

These luminaries have managed what my mother couldn't all these years, make me skip work for not one but two consecutive days.

I thank these gentlemen for meting out special treatment to us, the salaried middle class, in return for the hefty taxes we honestly shell out,  so you may run appeasement campaigns for your vote bank.

Thank you for reminding us of our history, so you can build statues and divert the funds for personal use.

I realised that a bullet train for diamond merchants is far more important than the elevated corridor for my daily commute.

I came to know that not linking my Aadhaar card is the reason why money is stashed abroad in Swiss banks. GST is too complex for us to understand. Hence, we cannot know the reason why petrol and diesel cannot be brought under its ambit, even if you say, 'One Nation One Tax'.

I have understood that politics is genetic, only a grandson can be a better ruler to carry on the legacy of the party. We are throughly entertained by your dramatic speeches. How you are a bit less worse than the other political parties and you won't fight the polls together but will somehow form a coalition afterwards.

I pledge to pay back your debt by standing in a long queue and practice my duty to democracy by voting for the least incompetent amongst you.

Gratefully yours,
A Mumbaikar,
Sushant Shetty

(Sushant Shetty is a mechanical engineer by profession, a philonoist with an opinion on everything under the sun. Writes on politics, sports and everything in between.)