Bachelorette Parties: What Men Expect Vs What Really Happens
Dear men, whatever you thought about bachelorette parties is just about to change.
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Everyone goes a little cuckoo around the time their friends are getting married. The single ones oscillate between feeling bad for themselves and getting drunk and thinking they are going to live it up till they are single.
The married men are particularly excited, they can’t wait for another man to feel their pain and bachelor parties are always on the cards.
Bachelor parties are basically an excuse to get really drunk and feel particularly liberated, mostly in Goa, for the men. Of course, there are all sorts of stories made up about how bachelorette parties are. Mostly, these are men with over-active imaginations and way too much access to porn.
Let’s clear the air, shall we?
1. Expectation: The women get together and paint each other’s nails. You know, like in movies. Preferably in cutesy pyjamas or satiny shorts.
Reality: Please. Bachelorette parties are our excuse to get drunk, much like the men. After a rough week at work, we really don’t want our noses in some else’s feet. We’d rather go to a salon for that. And no, no one is wearing those heart icon pyjamas. As for the satiny shorts, those climb up really high between the bum and suck at providing any sort of decent coverage for the backside.
2. Expectation: The women start to make out passionately with each other.
Reality: Sigh. We have porn to blame for this. While most people do get hot after a few drinks, even at a bachelorette, women like keeping their clothes on. And this may come as a surprise to many, but women do not abandon their sexual orientation and fling their bras at other hot women just because they are at a bachelorette.
3. Expectation: Women have pillow fights with white feathers everywhere. Of course, this is done while still managing to look cute.
Reality: Does anyone really do this? In India, pillow fights will result in two pep talks from mom – all the while as you try to brush away unflattering cotton out of your eyes and mouth. Plus, if you’ve had pillow fights as kids, you know they’re neither hot NOR cute. Come on, men.
4. Expectation: We gossip about men and discuss intimate bits in sordid detail.
Reality: Er, this one is partly true. Okay, it might be entirely true. We do share a lot more than we care to admit. But what are girlfriends for if not to share details about sizes and the funny things he does in bed? To the men out there – you know her best friend? Yeah, she probably knows a lot more about you than just the fight you had.
5. Expectation: Women get really drunk.
Reality: Well, what can I say? This would be absolutely true. As you may have guessed, the bride sees this as the last chance of feeling this liberated and will be rather enthusiastic about the alcohol.
The other girlfriends will be knocking back drinks but mostly, they will be holding the bride’s hair as she throws up in some toilet. There will always be the one woman who’s not drinking because she’s goody-two shoes or because she’s pregnant or whatever but she’s the one who tries to shepherd everyone home and looks at the ladies disapprovingly as they fall all over themselves.
(Mansi Shah is founder of the blog Damsel in Destress which reviews experiences as varied as spas, books and plays. Mansi is, by her own admission, “clueless” at 30 with an easy penchant for humour.)
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