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Last week, I had binge-watched some early 2000 Bollywood flicks like Yash Johar’s Chalte Chalte and Guddu Dhanoa’s Bichoo. I was clearly up to no good and hence, I over-emphasised the ways these love stories broke for intermission.
Strangely, I noticed that the major rift/conflict in the plots was due to the inability to manage household work like cooking and cleaning.
These issues crop up immediately after the couples share the same roof. It brought back flashes of early 90s when Indian parents have been shown to have an atrocious solution to these –
In fact, we are so accustomed to seeing women cook on screen constantly in the kitchen to ensure family peace and togetherness, that it hardly comes across as worrying.
This doesn’t mean that their smiles and happy faces convey absolute bliss in that space – time and again, there have been complaints, be it in the form of regret or passive-aggressive behaviour. And brief though these scenes are, they are worth a look again, I feel.
In Lunchbox (2013), we literally have an invisible woman who is working round the clock in the kitchen. She converses with Nimrat Kaur, giving her tips to spice up her conjugal life through creative cooking.
Perhaps the depiction of the ever-excited (glee-faced) woman overburdened with work at home is a social strategy. When the plot doesn’t satisfy that trope, complaints of the woman are presented as absurd and hilarious.
If feeding isn’t a gendered quality – why do we still have vestiges of these representations in Bollywood? To me, it is all connected. The fixation with the “perfect roti” aka the “perfect wife” on screen is as worrisome as the nation-wide trend of saving women for the purpose of rescuing the kitchen.
To oppose the erstwhile notion of women as perpetual cooks, I also see comparative memes which pinpoint that empowerment for them lies outside the household. While we hope that women be not confined in the kitchen, how often do we ask: Why don’t the men join this same space? Why is it that stories in Bollywood films do not address this – and instead lament about how relationships fail due to mismanagement of household work?
Popular culture has shown us how women cooking is heavily romanticised – so much so, that when the men come to that space, it is seldom to help with the drudgery of the job. Rather, these intrusions foster recurrent stereotypes of romance, food, sex and the female body.
While romantic scenes of the man helping his female lover stir the curry or make the dough (think Tumhari Sulu!) are aplenty, some crude utensil-washing on a Monday morning is hardly depicted.
Consequently, these prejudices do not go away – not even when architects design hot kitchenette structures to gradually make the kitchen “invisible”. It is envisioned that this physical invisibility will tone down the traditional worth attached with the space; in other words, it won’t incarcerate women’s work anymore.
Among a certain class now, in urban areas of the country, the fantasy of the shrinking kitchen is finally coming true. What changes will this entail in terms of food consumption, gender performance and housing structures? Will it really revolutionise the lives of women and men? What will they eat and where shall the cooking be outsourced from?
Disappearing kitchens, aka the saga of urban middle-class comfort is also the tale of people who choose “not to see”– and care. And particularly not see through what the Bollywood screen tries to show them.
Years ago, if my grandmother would have known Anna Puigjaner’s concept of the “21st century Kitchen-less house”, she would have taken the world by storm. The waste would be collected outside of the kitchen, an area kept very clean due to hygiene issues.
It is time to ask this question of ourselves once again.
(The author is a freelance writer and researcher based in Guwahati, Assam.)
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Published: 03 Oct 2018,06:46 PM IST