A Room of One’s Own: The Horrors of House Hunting in NCR

Keep calm and house hunt!

Home is where the heart is and the landlord isn’t! (Illustration: Susnata Paul)

‘Hum toh family waale prefer karte hai!’ (We prefer families)

‘Zyaada shor nahi chahiye’ (We don’t want too much noise)

‘Zyaada dost log nahi aane chahiye’ (We won’t allow friends staying over)

‘Journalist aur lawyers ko hum ghar nahi dena chahte’ (Journalists and lawyers – big no- no)

‘Aap smoking, drinking nahi karte hai na?’ (Hope you don’t smoke or drink)

‘Humein sirf vegetarian log chahiye’ (Only vegetarians, please!)

Let’s admit it, house hunting isn’t for the faint-hearted. You need luck, time, surplus cash, vegetarian habits, no male friends, a God-sent broker and above all, the patience to hear such crap.

My First Thought?

Flats and Flatmates –Several Chapters

(Photo Courtesy: Facebook screengrab)

If you’re a working man or woman and have time only during weekends to go house-hunting, these public groups on Facebook can be one of your best bets.

Several people – all sailing in the same boat – share, advertise or look for houses collectively here. As is evident from the image above, the chapters just keep multiplying – as does the requirement to get just the right den for yourself.

Online House-Hunting Portals

(Photo Courtesy: 99acres screengrab)

Ever heard that old ad: dikhawe pe mat jao, apni akal lagao (judge for yourself)? These online portals are right on the money.

While some of the house ads look spectacular (read: too good to be true), the moment you call or decide to take a look, that darn list of conditions (aka: “vegetarian, no-friends, et al) are read out, making you want to tear your hair out in frustration.

But I’m told many people have been successful in finding houses online.

Thousand-and-nth time lucky? Fingers crossed.

Reality Check

A word of caution: If you are hunting for houses in summers in Delhi, be ready to get completely charred by the time you find something even worth looking at.

And when your mum and dad call to provide well-meaning gyaan from a distant land (“Are houses really that expensive? Naw!”, “Find one with a balcony, okay dear?”), it makes you want to switch your phone off and go to sleep.

If only the naive onlookers knew how irritating it can be to look for that perfect abode for yourself.

After all, home is where the heart is and the landlord isn’t!