Why Just Periods? Ban Women in Temples For These Reasons Too!

A list of bizarre reasons why women should be banned from entering Indian temples.

Women are banned from entering several temples in India including Sabarimala, Shani Temple, and the Haji Ali dargah. (Photo: The Quint)

Okay, bleeding women we get. The Bharatiya tradition does not allow for it, especially in the sanctum sanctorum of a temple. But why have three temples in Thane banned the entry of women wearing gowns?

They cite hygiene issues as the rationale behind the decision, but am I the only one who finds that bizarre?

Taking a cue from these holy places, here is a list of other outlandish reasons why women should not be allowed in temples.

The Saree and Its Perpetually Falling Pallu

What if the neatly tied saree suddenly decides to misbehave and the pallu falls off while you’re in the temple, and the others accidentally trip on it and die?

Haaye raam, that is blasphemous.

Temples in the country should, therefore, as a sign of caution, ban every woman who wears the quintessential Indian attire – the saree.

Sarees can be fatal. (Photo Courtesy: Facebook page of The Sari School)

Hold That Sneeze, Woman

Temple officials immediately need to appoint a set of guards to stand at the entry of the temple and stop any women who is found sneezing or coughing.

The reason?

Well surely, menstrual blood is not the only excretion from a female body that holy spaces can’t handle.

Taking that argument forward, probably women with kids should be banned too. Anything that has been pushed out of the vagina? That’s bad enough.

(GIF Courtesy: YouTube/Bae)

The Virginity Clause

With futuristic scientific devices getting popular as each day passes, temples should invest some time and energy (along with notifying the ban on entries) in constructing a special kind of cloth that detects the virginity of a female.

Only those who pass the test should be allowed entry.

The ones who don’t, should not worry. There can always be a simple puja done in the temple to restore virginity.

Did Somebody Say T-Shirts With Cartoon Characters?

Women sporting clothes with cartoon characters, musicians or sports stars on their T-shirts should be banned too.

Because let’s be serious, only gods should be idolised in temples.

(GIF courtesy: YouTube/Veenasbeautytips)

The Accidental Choke

Long hair and dupattas? Bad combination.

Both long hair and dupattas have a killer effect. Men can easily get their heads wrapped around either and choke to death. Now that is not something we want on the premises of a temple.

Solution: Ban women with luscious long hair or the ones wearing long/short/medium length scarves.