Sorry Lisa Haydon, But You Know Nothing About Feminism

Dear Lisa Haydon, you completely missed the bus on feminism.

Lisa Haydon’s definition of feminism is disappointing. (Photo Courtesy: Instagram/Lisa Haydon)

Listen. Are you listening?

If you listen really, really closely, you’ll be able to hear the sounds of a million glass ceilings dusting themselves off and putting themselves peremptorily back together again. You will be able to hear face-palms and ‘le sighs’; you will also be able to hear the sound of a billion dictionaries flying (at the velocity at which feminism cuts bullshit) at Lisa Haydon, earmarked to ‘F’. Feminism, of course.

Lisa Haydon, why you make our lives so difficult? Do you realise how hard it was for us to let the Queen dreams dissipate (it’s been two years and we’re still not over it) and come face to face with this?

For those not in the know, here’s what Haydon said in a recent TOI interview. When asked if she thinks the “concept of feminism is often misconstrued”, here’s what she said:

“I don’t like the word feminist. I don’t think women trying to be men is feminism. I also don’t believe in being outspoken for the sake of it, or just to prove a point. Feminism is just an overused term and people make too much noise about it for no reason. Women have been given these bodies to produce children, and the spirit and tenderness to take care of people around us. It’s fine to be an outspoken and working woman. I don’t want to be a man. One day I look forward to making dinner for my husband and children. I don’t want to be a career feminist.”

We’re hearing this:

(GIF Courtesy: tumblr.com)

We’re also seeing this:

(GIF Courtesy: genius.com)

What You Said, Replayed

Well done, Lisa. Well done. You’ve successfully managed to give us a glassy-eye syndrome on a Monday morning when we were really just too busy figuring out if coffee machines were sent exclusively to fight Sunday night hangovers. You’ve also called the trolls out to play – you know, the ones that avoid direct sunlight and file their paws, waiting for a bomb like this one to drop to start typing furiously: “Yes, yes, that’s right, that’s what we’ve been saying all this while. FemiNazis be like…”

Le sigh.

Shall we attempt to read back to you what you said to us, interlaced with their actual meanings?

(GIF Courtesy: bust.com)

You don’t think women trying to be men is feminism. That’s correct – women trying to be men isn’t feminism. You get it, then – the whole bizarre idea of equality?

No, but wait – you also follow that up by saying you “don’t believe in being outspoken… just to prove a point?” What ‘point’, pray would that be? Oh, did you mean the centuries’ old fight us women (and many men) have been waging to ensure egalitarianism? But you couldn’t possibly mean that, could you? Because you don’t understand that that’s what feminism IS.

We’re so tired, Lisa. So tired of constantly chafing at celebs who are ignorant about feminism (and rejoicing at an occasional commonsensical one like Tanmay Bhat). Can we interest you in his video for a quick feminism refresher?

The Dangers of Warped Knowledge

I’m sorry, but women have NOT been given these bodies to produce children and the “tenderness to take care of people around us”.  Reproduction – and catering to distorted clichés of ‘femininity’ – are not the be-all and end-all of women’s existence, believe it or not. It’s like saying –

“But why worry that you don’t have the same rights as men? You don’t have to, silly! You’ve got that totally fatuous thing called ‘femininity’ that we don’t understand but will still use as an excuse for an attribute – aaaand the power to spawn offspring. Isn’t that all sorts of happening? Now shut up and make us some tea.”

Hermione disapproves. (GIF Courtesy: rosierespect.org.au)

Lisa, it’s great that you want to “one day.. make dinner for (your) husband and children.” Do you realise that the fact that you can even make this choice (because that’s what it is) – and that it isn’t imposed on you by parents/society IS born of feminism? Do you realise that for thousands and thousands of women, this isn’t a choice, but a warped reality shoved down their throats because these women have no voice? So don’t make ‘making dinner’ the anti-thesis of ‘feminism’ when you don’t realise that while it’s a choice for you, it isn’t for infinite, countless others.

As for that last bit, we confess to be being truly thrown. What, pray, is a “career feminist”? Is that a new kind of thing? Are you thinking of this in terms of categories, perhaps – like different kinds of bed linen?

Lisa Haydon, we’ve loved you for ages. But you really need to replace whatever dictionary – and warped definitions of feminism – you’re currently using. Quickly.