Leopreet Ka Photoshoot: Where The Baby Refuses To Smile

I think my baby is the most handsome young fellow in the world, writes new mommy Simrat Ghuman

Glowing mother Simrat Ghuman with her little one. 

I may yet morph into exactly that type of person but so far I’ve desisted taking people through endless pictures of my baby at the merest hint of polite interest.

In fact you’d have to work hard, ask a few times to convince me of the sincerity of your interest and then I may show you a few photos, but I’d stop at 3. Definitely at 5. That’s my self-imposed limit.

But privately I photograph my Littloo Titloo endlessly. My brother, very daringly, may liken my son to a tomato, but I think he’s the most handsome young fellow in the world. So imagine my surprise when I went to get his passport photos done and the gentleman there, after spending considerable time trying to catch a good, wide-eyed expression of Littloo handed me some photos that looked nothing like him.

My Baby Best(est)

Who was this strange blob of a child gaping back at me? Mine? Surely not! Where was the world-beating intelligence and endless mischief that I saw in his 2-month-old eyes? Where was the beautiful heart-shaped face and the noble forehead? Clearly, just in my imagination.

Darling husband ventured that perhaps this is how the world, without the benefit of parent-filter saw our little son. No way, said I, and promptly booked a professional photographer to do my son’s looks some justice. Another reason was that my mother was back for a fortnight and a beautiful photo with her first grandchild would be a souvenir for her endless and unquantifiable support. Yet another reason was that I had no decent photo with my son since I’m always the one clicking. Well, time had come to put the world to rights.

The day arrived. All of us; Darling Husband and I, my mother and my in-laws wore our best clothes, and so did Littloo, who wore his stripy top and bright pink pyjamas (take that gender stereotyping!).

The photographer was all eagerness and ideas. Our big wingback chair was hauled into the garden and a few other backdrops identified. We lounged about making small talk and as soon as a cloud flitted across the sun to soften the light, it was action time.

The photographer took a few individual shots, lots of informal and posed group shots: all of us gazing devotedly at the little one – with milk bottles, burp cloths and noisy toys tucked just out of the camera view. Then we stripped Littloo to his nappies, laid him on a sheepskin and took some more shots.

Moody Little Leo

A few days later the photographs came in, looking resplendent, thanks to clever digital touch-ups. Everything looks perfect, our eyes are bright and our smiles are wide. I might even hazard to say that we look like we belong in a pricey lifestyle catalogue, but it seems, along with my double chin and crazy hair, the baby didn’t get the memo.

In the middle of our happy tableau sits a pink-pyjamaed grumpus who is either yawning or making a floppy, bored face or just looking rather cross at all the fuss. Like he’s in a parallel universe of tummy aches and general discontentment, thinking “put me down you weirdos, I need a big poo.”

In short, he couldn’t have looked less unhappy if he’d actually tried. What of the sheepskin shots, you ask? Well, in those, he looks like any old cute but cliched catalogue baby – he could be anybody’s! Worse still, there’s not a single decent shot of just him with his Slave #1, his adoring Naani! Hmph. I know what you’re thinking: time to book another photographer (let’s not tell Darling Husband how much this one cost)!

(Simrat Ghuman is Head of Communications and Marketing at Anthemis Group in London. A former TV journo, she has just taken her first step into motherhood and will be serialising her quirky take on motherhood in the ‘Leopreet Ki Ma’ blogposts. You can read her (hilarious) journey through pregnancy in the Preggers blog below.)

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- Dealing With Being Preggers: Of Cravings And Indulgence
- Dealing With Being Preggers: Husband and I, Rowing the Pregnancy Boat
- Defining Motherhood: What it Feels to be a New Mommy
- Taking Baby Steps to Motherhood
- Leopreet Ki Maa: Confessions About Taming The Baby