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Mumbai has the distinguished position of being the gay capital of India. It has never been crowned, it has never been awarded this title, but it is an unsaid thing that Mumbai has been the crucible of the queer rights movement. This is the place where Ashok Row Kavi initiated his organisation – The Humsafar Trust. This is the place where Gay Bombay had the distinction of being one the largest yahoo groups on the issue. This is the place where one could be out in gay abandon and not be questioned.
I am not building a romanticised version of the city. Of course, there are threats, extortion rackets, there are forced gay and lesbian marriages, gay rapes and also corrective rape that happens in this very city. But the DNA of the city is still that is very accepting of LGBTIQ people. Public places have never treated us so badly. No one has shoved homophobia on our faces.
This is why it really hurts. It really hurts when someone turns you down because you are gay in this city.
I explained again and again and they kept laughing. They didn’t insult us or bully us verbally, but not allowing us was insulting enough. We did manage to get in after a while, because of my friends, who are a lesbian couple. The lesbian couple didn’t seem to face any challenge in getting inside.
Another restaurant, Shiro’s in Worli, had slammed its door on another gay couple. It is coincidental that this also had to happen only last week. The couple had called Shiros for a booking and were told the same thing. Obviously, the gay couple was upset and angry.
After Yogesh published this article and my friend, Mr Gay India, Sushant Divgikar tagged Shiro’s, they offered this response:
This basically reiterated what I said about allowing lesbian couples in the garb of women’s safety. I wonder though in real life if straight men would pose as gay men just to get entry into a pub, so that they could get naughty and frisky with women in there. Real life, sadly, is not like Dostana.
I should also add, that Shiro at least bothered to respond. We should credit people for keeping the dialogue on.
But all’s well that ends well. My friend Sushant Divgikar visited Shiros yesterday night with a bouquet of roses. He was greeted with love. The management apologised and said that they welcome gay couples in the new year bash. Kudos to Shiro’s for standing up for LGBTIQ people, however you may have erred in the beginning. We need to acknowledge that you have now stood up for the cause and against discrimination.
This doesn’t mean all of Mumbai is homophobic. Here are some of the Queer Positive spaces in the city, compiled by Gaysi Family, a feminist queer think-talk in Mumbai.
I don’t want to budge. We are one strong community. And till there is equal treatment for all of us, there is no good treatment for some of us. I clearly think homophobia is a disease. I wish that the Bar Stock Exchange gets cured of it. I don’t wish people to boycott these spaces. They need our attention. They need our love. They need our constant communication.
I have set up an event on Facebook to urge Mumbaikars to offer our roses to The Bar Stock Exchange. Also show them your love on Zomato.
Have requested people to post their pictures while gifting the roses and cards on Social Media with the hashtag #GayWellSoon. I wish that people who read my column here on The Quint to do the same. If nothing, just use the HashTag #GayWellSoon and tag them.
Let’s spread some love. Let’s cure the world of hatred. Let’s spread the rainbow. Let’s change hearts. One heart at a time. Let’s reclaim our dignity. One space at a time.
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Published: 20 Dec 2016,03:33 PM IST