Child Sexual Abuse, Ep 5: ‘Family Didn’t Report My Rapist to Cops’

“I’m a childhood sexual abuse survivor and was abused from the ages of 6 to 13.”

(Illustration: Arnica Kala/The Quint)

Video Editor: Kunal Mehra

Vidhi* is 46. She lives in Washington DC with her husband and two children. For 33 years, she hid a secret from most people. She hid it from her husband too, until a television programme on child sexual abuse in 2019 caused her to have a meltdown in front of him. She told him what she’d never told him before – that she had been groped, beaten up and eventually raped, over a period of years, by her much older cousin, when living in Rajasthan, India, as a child. This is her story.

Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident. A single day, night, memory that sticks out like a sore spot on the skin, where you were touched. Sometimes, it’s many incidents – recurring over many days and many nights – that stick out, the same way, like sore spots on the skin, where you were touched.

The sore spots turn into blank spaces in many child sexual abuse survivors’ memories – who bury the abuse and often return to confront it as adults. They return, either with determination to find some semblance of justice, or with the hope that speaking about their stories will help someone today, to speak about theirs.

The Quint spoke to a few adult survivors of CSA and these are their stories.

This is Episode 5 and this is the story of Vidhi*, 46, who lives in Washington DC.

(Vidhi originally spoke to The Quint in July in this story when she first broke her silence and decided to pursue legal action against her alleged rapist, over 30 years after the crime.)

Transcript of the Audio:

I’m 46 and I live in Washington DC.
I’m a childhood sexual abuse survivor
and was abused from the ages of 6 to 13
by my adult cousin who was 23 at the time
when I was only 6.

I was repeatedly physically assaulted by him
in front of the other family members, in the form of discipline
and also sexually abused in the guise of taking care of me
from when I was 6 to 11.
And then, he went on to rape me several times
between the ages of 12 to 13.

I could never tell my mother or anyone about my abuse
because I was too little and also, I realised
that word always gets to him
and then I’d be very badly beaten for speaking up.

But then, eventually, I did tell my mother
about being raped by my cousin,
but her reaction was complete disbelief.
However, they decided to move cities with me and
never to report him to the authorities but to
exclude him from the family events.

Being too young at the time to understand the issue
and whose fault the crime against me was,
I thought as a child that it was my fault.
And (I thought) as a result, whatever my parents and family were doing
was in my best interests.
I trusted, as a child, to look after and love people around me
And I did the same too.

Upon reflection, as an adult, however,
I think they didn’t want to discuss the issue as
it would question their blind trust of my perpetrator.
Clearly, they didn’t protect my childhood and failed to
stand up against the wrong.
As a result, yes, now my relationship is somewhat strained with my family
for being disbelieved.

After 33 years of silence of the abuse,
I finally confided to my husband who wholeheartedly supported
my stance and encouraged me to stand up for justice.
I did approach the criminal system and registered my case
with POCSO and eventually, registered again with NCW,
hoping to file an FIR to lodge a formal criminal complaint
to seek justice for the crime committed against me.

It’s not easy to escape the memories of the abuse of this magnitude
and to forget the incidents that happened throughout my childhood,
especially when witnessing my daughter growing up through similar ages.
Her childhood innocence reminded me
of my unfortunate childhood years.

The Me Too movement and watching particular television shows
on child sexual abuse issues have all brought
the memories overwhelmingly back.
They also help me to understand that (in) the case
of child sexual abuse, the adult perpetrator is to be blamed,
not the child.

Standing here today, as an adult childhood sexual abuse survivor
and a mother, I have made myself very strong emotionally.
I am not a woman who would stay silent
and continue to promote wrong.
I think kids need to be brought up in a safe environment,
and silence of crimes like these prevents that from happening
and puts the whole generation at risk
which has to be stopped.

*Name changed on request.

(The Quint will be publishing these audio stories of real individuals over the next week – who narrate to us their trauma of child sexual abuse and how they’ve chosen to heal. If YOU have a story that you’re comfortable sharing with The Quint, please write to us at [e-mail]. Your identity will be kept anonymous, should you choose to do so.)