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If you’ve ever been in love, you might be familiar with a sort of a euphoric feeling, one that you don't get tired of easily. You feel like you finally understand what Javed Akhtar wrote about in the iconic Kal Ho Na Ho (2003) song Kuch To Hua Hai.
Your heart might start beating faster, you might have trouble breathing when the person is around you, and you might even spend a few sleepless nights thinking about the person you love.
Yes, your brain releases certain hormones that make you fall head over heels for someone – and also the hormones that keep you in that very love.
While movies would have you believe that you meet someone on the first day, fall in love, and get married by the third day, in reality, there are a few stages in between these events.
This infatuation, or the lust or desire to be with someone, is actually triggered by the production of reproductive hormones, namely testosterone and estrogen, which are controlled by the hypothalamus in the brain, explains Dr Sudhir Kumar, Neurologist, Apollo Hospital, Hyderabad.
What the adrenaline does is cause anxiety, excitement, and restlessness in the person, which is the ‘butterflies in the stomach’ feeling that we so often discuss.
Adrenaline induces the fight or flight response in the person, making them wonder if the other person likes them back, whether they want to spend time with them, etc.
The other hormone at play during this stage is dopamine, which kindles desire and is involved in the brain’s reward department.
Dr Kumar shares that functional MRIs, over the years, have shown that when someone is shown a picture of the person they are romantically involved with, the part of the brain that produces dopamine lights up.
That’s because meeting someone you love or spending time with them makes you happy, which the brain construes as a reward, heightening the feelings of desire and pleasure.
Oxytocin, also known as the love chemical, is produced when there’s a direct skin-to-skin contact with someone you love – hugging your partner, kissing them, sexual intercourse, and orgasms, etc. Says Dr Kumar,
Vasopressin, on the other hand, induces feelings of protectiveness and possessiveness after sexual intercourse.
Interestingly, the brain releases dopamine when in love, and also when getting addicted to something. Dr Kumar shares that an experiment was done on two sets on male fruit flies. One set had been sexually rejected by female fruit flies and one set had mated with them.
Dr Kumar explains,
If love really is a chemical locha, does that mean if someone is on hormonal pills or anti-depressants, their feelings might change? That is a possibility, explains Dr Kumar.
And with so many chemicals are involved, love is also technically blind, especially to red flags. When someone is in love, the two neural pathways in the brain which are responsible for rational thinking get shut off, says Dr Kumar.
While the hormones released in the brain do take control of our romantic feelings, Dr Kamna Chibber, Head of Department, Mental Health & Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Memorial Research Institute, Gurugram, feels that love can’t be generalised based on only these chemicals.
She says:
But she does add that in healthy long-term relationships where communication is good, people might start feeling more positive, joyful, and feel that their problems have a lesser impact on them now because of a support system, There could also be a change in how they engage with other people.
On the other hand, if the relationship is full of conflicts, with already low levels of serotonin, negative thoughts might start clouding the person’s mind, with a preoccupation about the uncertain future of the relationship.
There are some other chemicals involved in love too. In the initial stages of love, while adrenaline and cortisol increase, inducing feelings of euphoria and passion, serotonin decreases and the amygdala in the brain becomes deactivated, lowering your feelings of fear or judgment.
Apart from this, the medial insula, the anterior cingulate cortex, and segments of the dorsal striatum in the brain are also responsible for love, more than your heart.
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Published: 14 Feb 2023,07:00 AM IST