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The COVID-19 pandemic has led to an economic crisis. People are losing their jobs, the market is dry and everybody’s worried about the future. In such situations, we tend to slide into a web of negative thinking that may pull us down, leading to stress, anxiety and restlessness.
This is backed by research. Even during the Great Recession, people who suffered a financial, housing, or job-related hardship were more likely to show symptoms of depression and anxiety, and many of these were long term.
FIT interviews Dr Kamna Chhibber, Clinical Psychologist, Head, Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences at Fortis Healthcare. She answers questions received from people who are struggling financially, and gives some tips and solutions on how we can get through this rough phase as smoothly as possible.
Q1) I got laid off a month ago. The market is dry and I am too stressed about getting another job. I can’t sleep or eat. Please help me regroup and refocus.
I think it is very important for anyone who is experiencing this to understand that currently the scenarios we are in, of course, there is a lot of uncertainty and there are no easy solutions which are there in front of us. For most of us, we typically have a very problem-solving kind of an approach. And had this been any other time, the solution would have been to say that you okay, the job is not there right now, but I have got these other 10 opportunities. Let me start applying.It may take me a little longer, but I need to continue with that.
What is very important is to still fall back in some ways to that same approach.
If a process would have taken a couple of months, it may take longer than that in all likelihood. And yes, you may feel that that may be taking the best-case scenario. But at this point in time, we all need to look at what is there in front of us. The here and now.
The here and now is that hopefully, within the next short period of time, we should be looking at some sort of a revival of processes of things, and we need to try and make
the best of the situation we are in currently.
1. So if you would have previously applied to 10 jobs, right now try to apply to far more number of jobs because it may take a little longer for those opportunities to fall in place for you.
2. It is also important that instead of just looking at one kind of an opportunity,
try to look for various other associated kind of avenues.
3. So don't stick to Plan A. Try to go towards a Plan B, C, D and E. Try to look at what could be the various other permutations and combinations.
4. Look at activating your social support system. Try to see if you can reach out to people who are in a similar space and if they can give you some advice and inputs.
5. Ensure that you are not letting it impact your routine even today because that is what allows us to maintain our mental health during such a difficult time. So still get up in the morning, push yourself.
6. Even though you may not want to eat, break up your meals into smaller portions, have more frequent smaller meals.
Q2) I'm a 26-year-old girl who just graduated from a business school. At a time when we should be getting placed, companies are withdrawing offers. After my parents spent so much money on my education, I don’t have a job. The guilt is killing me.
If you look at it from an emotional standpoint, we each have certain ideas and notions
of how do we expect our life to take off. At this point in time, for anyone who is in this kind of a scenario, it is very likely that you are feeling that kind of guilt. That my parents pushed themselves to ensure something like this happens for me, and I wanted to take on that role and responsibility later on to ensure that I can take care of my own financial needs.
Regardless of whether something like this would have happened or not, your parents would have always prepared to ensure that they give you the best education that they can. So this was something that they would have planned for.
What you can do right now is that you need to take care of your well-being, make sure that you are being a support to them. If not financially in taking care of your own expenses, but at least in terms of the emotional support and the physical support you can provide them by being there.
So do these small things you can to make things easy for them. You need to make sure
that they are doing well. They need to see that you are doing well. Because if you are fine, they will be fine.
This is not in your control. It is not something that is of your own make, or that you haven’t put the efforts. The best thing that you can do as an individual is to just put forth efforts.
Q3) I went form a 24/7 on-the-go job to doing nothing all of a sudden. My days and nights have no routine. I am just mindlessly watching Netflix. How do I get out of this slump and become productive?
What you need to do very very actively is to take a step back. Start with one thing, Just start with setting your time to wake up right. You wake up, say, around 9 or 10 in the morning, if you have been waking up lose to noon.
Q4) At 31, I have no income. I feel humiliated asking my parents for money. It is embarrassing but I am helpless. Help me refocus so that I don’t drown in self pity.
Ask yourself this, Iif the situation was reversed, what would you have done? If say, for instance, in your place, it was your parents who needed help. They were the ones who went through a scenario where they did not have the finances to take care of their needs or, maybe they had some sort of an illness which compromised their ability to take care of their own self or their health. What would you have done?
As a family member, as someone who loves this person, you would have put forth all your resources because that is the nature of the relationship. To ensure that that person is also taken care of.
So yes, today you may be 31. But 31 is just a number right? We belong to a society and to a community where coming together as a unit, as a family, and as a support system
has always been emphasised. So it is okay if you are seeking your parent’s support today, because tomorrow, you would be playing that role for them also.
If you feel that you could be a potential burden on them, that burdensomeness is not going to come because they need to take care of your financial needs. That burden would be felt by them when you do not take care of your role and responsibilities within the home. When you start going to a negative caustic thought process, whether it pulls you down or it makes you more irritable at home and you snap at the people who are around you. If those are the things which are happening then you need to address that first because for them, money won’t matter. What will matter is how you all are spending time together, how you are feeling, whether you’ll be able to take care of yourself or not.
Q5) I moved out of my parents' house two years ago, but I am back now. The salary cuts have made it difficult for me to afford living alone. How do I adjust with living with my parents? My relationship with my family members is strained and now, I have become used to my own space.
I think this is a modern-day problem which is happening to most people who have gotten used to this new way of existing in their own independent spaces. But go back to the time when you did stay with your family. This was the very unit within which you were functioning. So of course, it was possible to do it at one time. If it was possible then, it is also possible to do it now.
The human mind is such that it can always adapt. The reason why your adaptation gets challenged is because you are mulling over thoughts which are constantly telling you “this is not great, I don’t feel great in this situation, I need to get out of this, I cannot deal with this anymore”.
If you get stuck in those thought processes, that will make it far more difficult for you
to keep continuing in that space. So, I think one of the most important things is to figure out what are you telling your own self or what is your mind telling you. Address that.
Try to remind yourself that right now, the situation warrants being prudent, and prudence would say that we need to utilise and pool in all your resources, make sure we are supporting each other, and that involves for you to stay in your parents home today. It is not necessarily a permanent arrangement. It is going to be temporary, till the time you are able to get back into that space where you can live independently.
If you are facing conflicts within your family unit, use this as an opportunity or at least consider to use this as an opportunity to have some conversations about the issues you are facing there.
Dr Kamna Chhibber highlights a few general points:
We all together can ensure that we are coming through this entire experience as a society in a much better way.
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