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(Trigger warning: This story mentions self-harm. If you have thoughts of self-harm, or you know someone who is in trouble, please show them your sympathy and call these numbers for local emergency services, helplines, and mental health NGOs.)
I was 16 years old when I first started putting my theories of self-harm to practice. I was never proud of it, and wish I had better support.
While it is pertinent to address the topic of self-harm in a sensitive manner, most people choose to brush it under the carpet.
How can those who deal with people with self-injury tendencies help them better? FIT asked psychologists.
Vasundhara Choudhary, a Delhi-based psychologist, explains, "We need to keep a couple of factors in mind while dealing with someone who chooses to self-harm. Does it happen without a diagnosis, or is it happening in spite of a diagnosis. In either case, the person who is suffering should be immediately seek professional help."
Those dealing with people with self-harm tendencies may feel that they are equipped enough to manage the situation, but this may not always be the case.
"Taking external help does not mean you don't care enough. It is a better approach, in most cases," she adds.
While trying to help of a person who chooses to self-harm, experts say, these are some signs to watch out for:
Wearing extra covered clothes that cover their arms or legs specifically.
Fresh cuts, scratches, bruises, other wounds.
Regular incidents of hurting themselves
Lack of trust and feeling unsafe constantly
Feeling comfortable in discussing ideas of self harm and the wish to not live often
Do not shame their tendencies calling it 'attention seeking' or 'unnecessary' – but one can be firm about how their outlet is not a healthy one.
However, in situations like these, telling a person that harming or hurting themselves is "not the right thing to do" isn't going to be enough.
"Feelings are our way to negotiate with the world around us. If an emotion is not acknowledged or is repressed, the ways of coping with it will not have a healthy outcome. Therapy, talking about it openly may be the answer," says Vickie Rai, a Mental Health Counsellor.
"To help people who have a pattern or history when it comes to self harm, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) could be quite helpful," Choudhary added.
It is also important for those concerned to learn stress tolerance techniques that will to regulate their behaviour.
Caregivers must also stress on the person making interpersonal connections, and having safety nets, which can help reduce the frequency of them harming themselves, Rai added.
"While it's natural to panic, as a caregiver, one will have to try not showing it in front of the person who's harming themselves. It is absolutely okay to express your concern, but without putting the other person in a state of fear," says Bhavna, a Bangalore-based psychologist.
Often, people who self harm perpetually feel they cannot confide in anyone.
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