"The thought of having sex after my vagina had dilated 10 cm, torn at the perineum, stitched up, required application of calendula, betadine and aesthetic gel twice a day while I was bleeding for four weeks straight, just didn't occur to me.... As far as I was concern, I was never going to have sex again," writes actor Kalki Koechlin in her new book 'The Elephant in the Room,' published by Penguin Random House India.

Speaking with Suresh Mathew, Entertainment Editor of The Quint, Kalki says the thought of writing her first book was inspired by a poster she made during her pregnancy that had her doodles of how she was feeling at the time.

The vividly illustrated book comes alive with Kalki's words. She credits her illustrator who helped over come her nerves about being a first time writer.

The lockdown helped. With a busy schedule, the lockdown gave her the time to pen her thoughts. "I'd not read so much material about pregnancy that was so internal, It's usually about the problems you have during your diet, or specifics of giving birth, but these would not delve much into what happens to your mind and your heart and that's what I wanted to write about."

The first chapter is called Abort Mission. In the interview, Kalki explains why she chose to start a 'pregnancy book' by talking about her abortions.

"I started with writing just 3-4 lines about my abortions, but my editor said you are talking about a really big thing here. She said it's a big taboo and it's not talked about much, so why don't you talk about your experience?"

Kalki says she knows so many women who've had abortions, and they've not had anyone to confide into, at the time of the abortion they were alone, no one to pick them up from the hospital, take care of them.

"I thought, if you've broken your arm, you'll have your parents and loved ones taking care of you, but when you have an abortion it is supposed to be all hush hush. It's sad that we don't have the support system around even though we have the legal support for abortion," adds Kalki.