Unlike the Oscars, Why Bollywood Awards Can Never Be Live Telecast

If you think our desi Bollywood award shows are going to be just as good as the Oscars soon, don’t hold your breath

Kevin Spacey does the lungi dance with Shahid Kapoor and Deepika Padukone at IIFA 2014 in Florida (Photo: Reuters)

It’s that time of the year when our stars will shimmy on the red carpet and almost all of them will be handsomely awarded with a coveted trophy. Of course, we will outrage over the mockery of talent that award shows are making, and so on.

Next year, the scenario will be the same, and our outrage will be perhaps a few decibels higher. But the manner in which award shows have evolved into a marketing volley, there is a scant chance that things will change anytime soon. However, if you are a staunch believer in the pop philosophy and the positivity meted out by the ilk of Deepak Chopra, Robin Sharma or Paulo Coelho, you might be brimming with positivity, hoping for a change. But we’re here to help you get real.

Aside from the mockery of talent, another bone of contention for major Indians is that Bollywood award shows are never beamed live, unlike their counterparts in the west, like the Academy Awards or the Golden Globes. In live telecast, major faux pas take place, epic moments are born, and stars look like humans who can err at times. This is why a live show filled with human oddity and brilliance would be extremely enjoyable to watch.

But Bollywood shows choose to walk the different path. And the reasons are many.

Stars Never Stay For the Whole Show

(Courtesy: YouTube)

Since most award shows essentially want the stars to be present, they do their very best to lure them. Most stars will agree under the condition that they be awarded in some category or the other, and it is for such very instances, that innovative categories like ‘Entertainer of the Year’, ‘Youth Icon of the Year’, ‘Popular Choice’ etc have popped up. But the catch is that the stars arrive, pose on the red carpet, and leave as soon they have pocketed their award. It’s clever editing that inserts dramatic reactions for the final show on TV even if the star was absent at the time. It could be a reaction to one performance in the evening, but finds itself on TV long hours later for another act. Such cleverness that make award shows masaaledaar will be impossible if the shows went live.

So You Think Stars Can Dance?

(Courtesy: YouTube)

Whenever we think of our award shows, the first thing that pops up in our mind is that our shows are full of dance performances, medleys and comic set-pieces. The award shows that you witness on TV with elaborate props would be impossible on live telecast. Because there have been several cases of mishaps, which is why most performances are always pre-recorded to be inserted in the awards shows to make it appear full fledged, kissing continuity.

To Be Politically Correct

(Courtesy: YouTube)

Being politically correct is our birthright, for intolerance runs in our blood, though we hate to admit it. Though there is a script helping the hosts, live shows entail impromptu jigs which can have not-so-flattering digs. But open-mindedness is not our forte, and such ideas can land TV channels and award shows into lawsuits by touchy folks. Not everyone has the appetite to go through what Kiku Sharda went through. Live TV would be just too risky. Better play safe.

The Need to Be Glamorous, Always

(Courtesy: YouTube)

Our shows don’t believe in wasting screen time on people who are behind the camera: the writer, the cinematographer, the choreographer, the lyricist, the sound designer, the action choreographer, the costume designer and so on. Because they would make for a rather unglamorous viewing! Which is why the people who actually make movies happen are hardly acknowledged in award shows, their presence edited down to them merely accepting the trophy. Most footage is given to the stars. In live shows, everyone would be given time for their acceptance speeches, and hence the huge risk of showing unglamorous, unflattering un-made-up real humans. TV channels love stars, even if they give, long, yawn-worthy speeches.

Victim of Its Own Monstrosity

(Courtesy: YouTube)

Unlike the olden days when we had Filmfare as the sole award function, nowadays award shows spring up every week as soon as the new year kicks in. Every channel has a stake in the award functions, and efforts are made to turn it into an entertainment extravaganza. Which is why the idea of pleasing every star means bribing their presence with an award, if not eligible, it would be an innovative category and so on. The bottom line is, award shows run into many crores by the channels and sponsors. Which is why stars get paid, awarded, processes are openly rigged, and above all, the whole thing made into a long winding show so that it can accommodate more and more sponsors. Such travesties aided by advertising would be difficult if not impossible to achieve in live shows.

(The writer is a journalist and a screenwriter who believes in the insanity of words, in print or otherwise. Follow him on Twitter: @RanjibMazumder)