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Concert khatam, paisa hazam!
Wish it were true, but in Justin Bieber’s case if anything was hazam it was the trickery he pulled on the Beliebers in Mumbai who attended his Purpose Concert.
So not cool!
Anyhoo… We have a big dil (didn’t we fulfil Bieber’s list of bizarre demands?) and we’ll eventually forgive you, just like we forgave Arvind Kejriwal and re-elected him as Delhi Chief Minster.
Bieber, don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you do share a lot of traits with us Indians. The good news for you is even if your desi mitron were disappointed with your singing, your unique Indian characteristics would work wonders in Bollywood.
Bieber bhai maan gaye. A few hours in the country and you quickly learnt our very own “chalta hai attitude” of getting away with things. Kyun? Bieber, you thought we’d forget everything and get on with our lives. Aha! Not when we have Rs 76,000 riding on our back! But the only takeaway from your chalta hai attitude was your ability to lip-sync through the 90 minutes of your performance. So we thought, why don’t you lip-sync in a profession that legitimately allows you to do so? Like Bollywood. The best part is you won’t be even trolled for it. Think about it!
Bro, you’re just born with it! I recognised your talent the day you sent your crazy demand list. Only a star travels with his luxurious needs like a washing machine, sofa set, refrigerator, ping-pong table, jacuzzi and whatnot. You have it in you to be a tantrum-throwing man-child!
Salman Khan is your ticket to Bollywood. Well, basically anything associated with the actor is, even if it’s his bodyguard Shera. So Bieber, you’re blessed to have bhai ka saath on your debut visit to Mumbai. When Sallu Bhai is not acting, he dons a mentor’s hat and gives Bollywood breaks to many wannabe actors. Bieber, your debut is sorted!
Welcome to Bollywood!
(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)