Five Times Bollywood Got Love Horribly Wrong

Some of Bollywood’s classic romances have horrible implications. Here are five of the most cringe-worthy.

Poster for Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995)

Romance is food for the soul. There’s something about love – however unrealistic it may be – that makes you feel like a warm, slightly under-done cookie. Really, nobody knows this better than Bollywood. Hindi cinema is a tribute to all kinds of unrealistic loves, so much so it begins to get really creepy really quickly.

Some of Hindi cinema’s greatest paeans to everlasting love are in fact, a stalker’s wet dream.

1. Dil Se

Take Dil Se for example. A man ‘reforms’ a woman with a fractured, traumatic past with the power of his steadfast, unwavering love. So steadfast and unwavering that it demands swift action from anti-harassment groups.

This man follows the love of his life EVERYWHERE.

He follows her to a village in Assam...

(Courtesy: YouTube screengrab)

Gets beaten up for it;

(Courtesy: YouTube screengrab)

And then, he finds her in Ladakh and startles her on a bus.

(Courtesy: YouTube screengrab)

Amarkant Varma, take a hint. You’re not wanted. You cannot wear someone down into saying yes to you and then celebrate it as everlasting love. We’d have run screaming to the police station a long time ago.

2. Roja

I’ll begin with a disclaimer. I mostly love Roja. It’s a great film, with beautiful music. There’s a problem though.

Rishi Kumar is ahead of his time. He respects Roja’s elder sister’s wishes and doesn’t marry her because she doesn’t want to. So far, so good.

However, the man has come to conquer, and find a bride he will. So he turns around and declares that he’ll marry Roja. Roja is anything but thrilled, but that doesn’t matter. Later in the movie is the perfect falling-in-love montage, which somehow justifies his choosing her like a Pokemon.

(Courtesy: YouTube screengrab)

3. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

Yes, I’m stepping on a whole lot of toes, I’m sure. Raj and Simran set the bar very high; they’re Bollywood’s quintessential lovers. The kind that fast and faint for each other.

However, Raj needs a few basic lessons in etiquette. The first time you meet someone, slumping against them is not going to win you any brownie points. Yes, the point may be that he ends up a reformed womaniser, but Raj’s flirting is as subtle as a sledgehammer and in real life, will probably end less than happily.

Think about it out of context. You probably wouldn’t date this guy.

4. Darr

The very premise of Darr is worrying, and using it as an entry is cheating a little bit. Rahul is terrifying. He ‘loves’ K-k-k-kiran so much, he will not take no for an answer. Which is why, he declares his love for K-k-k-kiran looking like this:

Courtesy: (YouTube screengrab)

And this:

Courtesy: (YouTube screengrab)

Yes, the man is eventually killed, Bollywood doesn’t try to palm him off as an ideal lover. Darr, however, champions a scarily feudal notion of love, where a man has to kill another man to live happily ever after. It sounds like the perfect trigger for PTSD.

5. Raanjhanaa

If you haven’t seen Raanjhanaa and this is your only recommendation for falling in love, I’d be terrified if you went ahead and loved regardless. Raanjhanaa is a little bit like Darr on speed. TWO people die in this one, and much murder is plotted. No, go on and watch this one if you haven’t. This is a story that is too astonishing to tell in text. This is the story of someone who plotted to kill her friend, because he plotted to kill her lover. She feels bad though. Raanjhanaa teaches you what repentance looks like:

(Courtesy: YouTube screengrab)