In the Times of ‘Kabali’: A Day in the Life of a Non-Rajini Fan
How a non Rajinikanth fan survived Rajini Mania in the times of ‘Kabali’.
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Dear die-hard Rajinikanth fans,
Yesterday was a tiring day for both you and I.
If films succeed only for three things – ENTERTAINMENT, ENTERTAINMENT, ENTERTAINMENT – we both had the highest dose of it on #KabaliFDFS.
I was more entertained by watching you – climbing the tallest cutouts, forming human chains, whistling endlessly as the credit roll flashed ‘Rajinikanth’ , and jumping on your seats as the camera panned up to to him – than I was by the film.
Every-time the film was stopped to let you dance beside the screen, I must say it was much more hilarious to me than the misplaced comedy in the film.
In the last few weeks, business, religion, fandom and cinema all came together to ensure that 1200 theatres across India could screen Kabali.
We know that the film will be remembered for the highest pre-release business ever in cinematic history; what we may never get to know is – how much of this was pure marketing and how much of it genuine love for Rajini.
I am a fan of you for watching the same film multiple times with your friends, wife and colleagues. Community spirit is a fading emotion after all. What I don’t like, however, is the fact that you forced me into this Friday as 99.9% of you conspired to do nothing except eat, sleep, breathe, and watch Kabali on the first day.
With months of frenzy and 12 hours on road to cover a film release, I strongly protest against all the 2.5 and 3 ratings. The minimum Kabali should do in return is to win an Oscar! But I know Thalaivar and his fans have long abandoned film ratings, story-telling, and acting skills.
Yesterday was just the beginning. Kabali mania (read: hysteria) is expected to continue next week as well.
But I am sorry, I am already sick of Kabali posters, Kabali menu, Kabali memes and the second by second media coverage of Kabali.
Just between you and me, there is much more that happened in the film industry in the last few weeks – a Madaari took on politicians as a common man, a Mammootty film gave us an overdose of misogyny, a Rustom initiated debates about public justice.
To say nothing of other current events, of course – Turkey, Nice, Kashmir, the list is endless.
Still, if we were to talk about Rajni, I know its ‘dangerous’ to say this but I find him quite mediocre. And to our collective disappointment, you have further reduced his acting skills to sound effects and slow-motion gimmicks.
It pains me when he cannot walk, talk, sit and laugh on screen without loud ‘thuds’ and mirrors cracking. To me, Rajinikanth no longer acts in a film; the film is rather plotted to act around him.
By the way, hats off to your superb chemistry with the director. Your whistles and shouts are now his only command.
As a non Rajinikanth fan, would you bear with my advice?
No you DO NOT look cool, proclaiming your loyalty for Thalaivar at the drop of a hat. You rather sound scary, unreasonable and illogical.
But I am in love with your innocence when you request him to do films that are at least average or above average. I can understand the embarrassment of whistling and howling at shoddy dialogues and redundant film-effects.
To be a fan or not is a crisis Indians are born with. In the land of Kollywood, Tollywood, Jollywood and larger-than-life Bollywood, I sympathise with people who doubt my human instincts when they find out I am a fan of NONE.
But you can definitely help me become one, by withdrawing the condition that I put my brain to rest and be a part of collective hysteria in the name of ‘love’ and ‘idolising’.
Yours Sincerely,
A Non Rajnikanth Fan
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