20 Yrs of Kal Ho Naa Ho: Dear Aman Mathur, Thank You For All That You Stood For

Shah Rukh Khan played the charismatic and emotional Aman Mathur in Kal Ho Naa Ho.

"Aman, although I hate to accept you are fictional, you have set the standard for the kind of men I hope to be surrounded in my life."

(Photo: Namita Chauhan/ The Quint)

Dear Aman Mathur,

It's been twenty years since you entered our lives. I was just a kid when I first saw you on the TV screen, dancing to the beat of 'Pretty Woman,' imagining myself as one of the girls that surrounded you. TBH, I kept bugging my parents to get me a pair of cool orange trousers like yours.

While I occasionally thought about you and your story during my school years, the impact deepened once I finished school — perhaps because life took its course, revealing its unfairness.

Shah Rukh Khan in a still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

Much like your sweetheart Naina (played by Preity Zinta), I am a nerdy-looking, bespectacled woman harbouring unbeknownst childhood scars that make me skeptical about love. Having naturally adopted an avoidant attachment style, I firmly close the doors on love's elusive dance, not letting it even tap me on the shoulder.

The idea of marriage seems like a potential avenue of heartbreak, reminiscent of what Naina tells Sweetu amid the fleeting coffee-spilling episode, ‘...aur phir ek din vo tum sab ko chodhkar chala jayega,’ pushing me towards embracing constant solitude.

Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta and Delnaaz Irani in a still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

But observing your softness for and care towards Naina, a part of me dreams for a love as organic, genuine and selfless. Your love for her made me realise I don't need to change myself in order to fulfil the preferences of a potential lover.

In a world where coming across genuine connections is challenging, especially at a time when the internet and social media have taken over our lives, it's even harder to sift through individuals with Kabir Singh-like tendencies who believe that EVERYTHING is fair in the name of love.

But Aman, of all the wonderful male characters that have graced Bollywood, you showed me how men don't have to be stoic; you challenged traditional views of masculinity. Your openness with emotions defied the idea that men must always be impassive.

A still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

What also impressed me the most was how you treated everyone around you, making them feel at home and secure. Throughout the film you have shown how chivalry and kindness are not outdated virtues, especially towards the women around you, showcasing a sensitivity and sensibility so endearing yet so rare in the real world.

At a time when kindness is sometimes seen as a weakness, you reminded me that it's a strength, a superpower that can change lives and heal wounded souls.

Shah Rukh Khan in a still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

While your '6 din, ladki in' strategy comes off as a typical push-and-pull technique that most women would disapprove of, it's only your intention that distinguishes the situation for me. So, when you poured your heart out to Naina, masking your emotions as Rohit's diary entries, you won my heart with your warm words and feelings. But that wasn’t the sole moment my heart melted.

Each time your eyes spoke and took the lead, a gush of warmth filled my heart. Your subtle and unique love language - in the way you looked at Naina - and your desire to ensure her happiness, combined with the depth in your eyes, has truly ruled my heart.

Shah Rukh Khan, Reema Lagoo and Sonali Bendre in a still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

While you seemed quite 'sorted,' secure and had the know-it-all dude attitude from the beginning, little did anybody know that you were embracing each day as if it were your last. I am, of course, astonished at how a man as expressive and emotional as you managed to camouflage the most heart-wrenching truth of your life.

Your love for Naina in the form of encouraging her to find joy and embrace life led to her finally falling in love with herself. She discovered herself, inspiring her to sing, dance, and smile, bringing a spring to her step.

Although women who are hyper-independent may be reluctant to rely on others for absolutely anything, your narrative very well demonstrates that receiving support from the right person can facilitate self-discovery. This, in turn, reinstates my belief in partnerships and the kindness of people around me.

Shah Rukh Khan and Preity Zinta in a still from Kal Ho Naa Ho.

(Photo Courtesy: Pinterest)

Aman, although I hate to accept you are fictional, you have set the standard for the kind of men I hope to be surrounded by in my life. Your ability to make people laugh, your sense of humor, and your warm, welcoming smile showed me the importance of finding joy in the little things and spreading happiness wherever I go. 

Your infectious positivity and zest for life have left an indelible mark on my perspective. Your cheerful outlook on life made me realise the power of optimism. You have shaped my ideals and desires in a partner, a companion, and a friend. Yet, the most crucial of all is the lesson you shared with the world, which is the simple definition of love: the art of letting go.

Thank you for the laughter, the lessons, and the indomitable spirit you brought into our lives, Aman.

Cheers to your eternal on-screen magic!