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QSatire: Forget Stress, Check These Causes of Heartaches in India

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians.

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The World Heart Day was celebrated on 29 September. Now that we have all been reminded how important it is to keep our hearts healthy and fit, let’s move on.

Did you know that people who aren’t suffering from serious health issues like diabetes, obesity, and stress can also risk getting some heart pain?

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians. The Quint brings you a few.

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The Big Ban Theory

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians.
Welcome to the Ban Republic (Photo illustration by Lijumol Joseph)

Welcome to Ban-gistan, the land of three wise monkeys, actually make it four wise monkeys, – See No Evil (porn ban), Hear No Evil (ban on cuss words), Speak No Evil (Sssh! Did you just say Lesbian?), Eat No Evil (beef ban, Maggi ban). You name it, we’ve banned it. No outrage, no dharnas, no trolls seem to bother our beloved netas. Now, if this doesn’t ache your heart, then what will?

Pak Up!

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians.

Jeetega bhai jeetega, India jeetega!

It may be Cricket, Hockey, Kabaddi, or the LOC – we never cease to let go off a chance when it comes to some time-tested Pakistan bashing. There is no bigger heartache for India than losing to Pakistan. But have you ever considered that all this hostility is injurious to health, leading to aggression, and high blood pressure?

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Kuch Naa Kaho!

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians.

You can block them, unfollow them, mute them, but you can’t ignore them. Yes, we are indeed talking about some obnoxious Indian politicians. Their ridiculous comments not only make headlines, but also cause acute heartaches. In this great nation of ours, “Poverty becomes just a state of mind,” and according to ‘holy’ people, “Every Hindu woman must produce at least four kids to protect Hinduism.”

Can we please have state-sponsored correctional homes for the country’s best?

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Splitsvilla

It hearts, oops, hurts us to say this – there is no dearth of things that cause severe heartaches among Indians.

Waking up to the news of your favourite celebrity breaking up is always heartbreaking. And Bollywood is known for its torrid love affairs – celebs meet, hook up and split, leaving the aam aadmi all gloomy. Let’s be honest, don’t our hearts sink when we hear about Sallu Bhai’s controversial L’affaire? That, my dear friends, is called heartache.

(At The Quint, we question everything. Play an active role in shaping our journalism by becoming a member today.)

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