QRant: Air India Needs More Than ‘Jai Hind’ to Turn Itself Around

Namaskar, aapka Air India ki flight mein swagat hai. Areh. Sorry, sorry. Mera matlab, Jai Hind.

Yes, Air India’s Chairman and Managing Director Ashwani Lohani feels the airline’s fortunes will change if the pilots say Jai Hind in their announcement before take off.

I can already see the impact on passengers. First, they’ll get a dreamy look in their eyes and exclaim, “Mera. Hamara. Air India”

Then another surge of patriotism will lead to tears, “Yehi hai (sniff!) Yahi BEST airline hai! (sniff, sniff!!)”

But seriously, Air India can namaskar or Jai Hind or even Bharat mata ki jai. We’re FINE with that. The passengers may even cry or have fits of jingoism. But that’s NOT going to turn around the Maharaja’s fortunes.

Here are some things that may, though:

• Don’t fly 300 passengers between destinations without the AC! Not in this heat.
  
  
• Get the rats off your flights as well as the lizards. I don’t think they paid the airfare.
  
  
• Don’t prize VIPs over the Aam Aadmi. And I don’t mean the party.
  
  
• And when a pilot refuses to fly because he wants THAT female co-pilot or shows up drunk to work, kick his ass to the kerb.
  
  
• Basically, step up your game.
  

Look, I’m flying with you guys soon and if it’s a great flight, I promise, I’ll disembark with a Jai Hind!

Camera: Sanjoy Deb
Video Editing: Kunal Mehra