Oye Mister Cleric, Why Do You Say You Are Not Equal to Me?

The Kerala sunni cleric’s comment on gender equality reeks of chauvinism at the core, writes Ravina Raj Kohli.

The gentleman who says women are only good for procreation is doing his fellow men grave injustice. Just because he is a cleric doesn’t make him superior to other men who follow goodness and make ‘being human’ their religion. He is neither above those born into another faith nor men who have adopted yet another out of personal choice. He isn’t even on par with those who believe God lies within, while Heaven is a place on Earth. It’s time for some man talk.

So mister, what makes men like you think that feeling equal to women makes you unworthy of God’s love? Surprised? You don’t get it? Ok. In plain speak, we women have no problem if you say you feel equal to us. And I suspect, neither does any God. Or do you actually feel inferior?

Be Your Own Man

You say women are only worth it for producing children and nothing more? Let’s see what you can do better.

First of all, you can’t even get pregnant. That makes you unequal to us straight away. You and other self-proclaimed ‘superior’ men just sit like some bekaar person while a woman you have impregnated, probably without any pleasure to her, has conceived your child.

That she allowed you to touch her selfishly makes her more human than you. Forget about being God’s spokesperson, you show no such generosity of human spirit. That she will nurture the baby in her womb and finally take the pains to deliver it in any case makes her seriously superior to you when it comes to moral strength, personal resolve and physical endurance. But will this shut you up and make you say sorry? No. So listen on.

Woman, the Superior Human Being

Given equal opportunity, a woman can do your job as good as you can or even better. Speaking of her sole role in your life, when she has done the only thing she can, in your opinion, that is to deliver your child, she will continue to be the superior human being. She will be a true parent and love her child unconditionally, be it male or female. Even if you lock her up at home, she will be there for her offspring and nurture your child selflessly whilst you go about your ‘manly’ business.

Unlike men like you, who seem self-centred and egotistical, in love with your own reflection in your muddy pool of judgemental society, she will put her energy into growing another human being. Oh. You poor man. You are truly deprived of what God meant you to have: The conviction of living with equality. Don’t hide behind God. He meant you to be stronger than this. Step out and be your own man and you will see the joy a woman has being her own person. Learn something from her.

Gender Bias Not Welcome

When you are in pain, the first word you utter is ‘Ma’ or ‘Amma’ or ‘Mom’. That’s a woman you are calling for help. When you are just being human and not trying to be such a ‘man’, that’s what comes to you naturally. Why then are you behaving like you are the creation of some digital machine morphed by altered thought? A woman cannot possibly be inferior to you. She gave birth to you. Or did that never occur to you?

This is not about religion. It’s about universal truth and acceptance. I was born a Hindu. My Mother is Sikh. I studied in a Catholic convent and went to the chapel once a week. I admire Buddha and his teachings. I adore the Golden Temple and enjoy going to Tirupati. My maternal grandparents were non religious; they were Radha Soamis. My father’s mother was a strict vegetarian and a Krishna Bhakt. My father loved his steak. I am fascinated by Muslim culture. I have prayed in many mosques and I have wept at synagogues. I have been learning Urdu poetry and Hindu bhajans since I was eight and have read the Mahabharat and the Bhagwad Gita. I am also the proud owner of the English translation of the Koran, endorsed by the temple of Islamic thought and learning: the Al Azhar University in Cairo. The Dean presented it to me. I treasure all these books of wisdom on my book shelf, equally, without religious bias. The women in my society are strong and capable. The men are resolute and have human values. I don’t care what their religion is. I respect them all.

This is the India I was born into. This is the India you were born into. This is the India I know. The country I love. Do you?

Hatred and communal differences were never part of growing up. Even if they existed in the collective post-partition PTSD, we were not subjected to it. It never made it to our text books. Or our dinner tables. There was a certain sophistication with which delicate matters were dealt with in those days.

We announced our prayers over microphones. We didn’t use them to alienate people of different faiths. And we didn’t use our loud volume to create a chasm between genders. Perhaps India was more sensitive then. We coexisted with people of all faiths and sexes, and even celebrated our differences.

You, mister, are welcome to your religious beliefs, but not your gender bias. I do not believe any human being was ever told by any God to put a woman down. Or have you just elevated womanhood by showing your own sense of insecurity at a woman’s might and therefore tried to shout her down? Please do give it some thought. Or better still, ask your mother if she agrees.

(The writer is a media professional)