Our Parents Need Time too – Indian Companies, are you Listening?

Yes, Indian companies, paternity leave is great – but what of the employees who want to look after their old parents?

I smile as I read the recent news of companies like Microsoft, Netflix and Adobe, instituting inclusive (and what to most Indians will look like very benevolent) leave policies for new parents.

These companies have recognised that there is a need for both parents, male and female, to take time off from work when they have a new baby. Or adopt one. Or become a foster parent.

And they have made these policies inclusive by enabling men now to take time off when they have a new baby. There are of course, Indian companies or subsidiaries of MNCs who have paternity leave that range from a pathetic two days to a couple of weeks. But the companies that I mentioned have taken this to another level. And this makes me smile.

Will this policy attract and retain good people? On the face of it, yes. So give it a chance, to sink in and flourish. I believe that it will work and it is something to celebrate.

Paternity Leave is Great, But What of Our Elders?

Then I start thinking about the care of the elderly. I have often said that looking after an elderly person, and that too one with a degenerative disease – like my father’s – is akin to looking after a child.

Whereas with a child, parents live with the joy and hope that soon their child will grow and become more independent, there is no such joy and hope for a person who looks after an elderly patient parent/s. The parent/s will become more frail and dependent till finally death takes them. A child will probably live with his parents for many, many years but an elderly patient parent will be with us for only a short time.

So why, I ask, have no companies – or governments for that matter – thought of instituting “Parent Care Leave”? Leave that I could have availed to look after my father – who has Parkinson’s Disease, Dementia, & Diplopia – vs giving up a full time job. Leave that I could have used to ensure that I spend quality time with my father vs spending four hours travelling each day to and from Gurgaon. Leave that would enable me to manage the financial constraints that not earning puts on a family – especially when I am the only earning member.

My Struggles of Looking after a Father with a Degenerative Disease

I have not had a vacation since 2011. All my leave days were at the time used in visiting and caring for my father when he was with my siblings. I took over caregiving from my siblings in 2014 – at a time when I was working a full-time job in Delhi. This meant availing of Privileged Leaves my company provided to truck my father and his life from Bangalore to Delhi.

There were hospital stays, midnight emergencies, hallucinations and delusions that had to be managed on the phone, while he was still in Bangalore. This, coupled with the fact that my own home with my husband included his elderly parents – aged 91 and 80.

So, in the end, I stopped working. There was no other choice. There was only so much I could do in a 24-hour day. And when the choice came down to working or looking after two homes and three elderly people, I chose caregiving. It was a no-brainer.

I never took on a full-time job again.

‘Parent Care Leave’ is the Desperate Call of Today’s Workforce

This might have been my unique challenge, but I believe parent care is going to be a real problem in a few years. For, the great “demographic dividend” – that we talk about so proudly today – will become our country’s super senior citizens in 35 years.

Already, nine states in India have lower fertility rates than the highly developed countries of the world i.e. lower than 2.1 which is considered the replacement level. Our old age dependency ratio will nearly triple from 13% in 2000 to 32.8% in 2050 i.e. every 3 working Indians will have to take care of one elderly person by 2050.

While the government scratches its head over how best to get the maximum benefit from the demographic dividend, I hope they will think of changes to our healthcare and wellness programmes to manage a large elderly population.

But let’s not leave everything in the hands of a government. Can some forward-thinking company finally think of ways to satisfy their older employees by giving them time off to spend with their parents?

I am asking for the institution of Parent Care Leave. That’s not outrageous. It’s just reality.

(After working in corporate India for over 29 years, Sangeeta has taken time off to look after her father, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2008. Sangeeta hopes that these authentic stories will help patients and caregivers understand and appreciate the impact Parkinson’s Disease. You can follow Sangeeta’s blog here.)